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4 Public Reviews Given
4 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
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Review by caffeinecindy
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
Hello Christina,

I enjoyed this story. As I noted in your new piece, you have a good touch with description, and it comes out in this piece as well. Very good handling of the foreign words-- you gave enough context or explanation for me to "understand" meaning without my having to puzzle over an unfamiliar language.

While I had anticipated that the hands which threw the stones would most certainly be the man's family, I hadn't expected the dead wife to seem such a soft, gentle creature, and to empathize with her. Nice touch with the stone on the sea at the ending. it reinforces the fact that it wasn't all a dream while alleviating the need to tie off all the loose ends. it provided a smooth ending.

I do note the occasional sentence structure issues and some unusual preposition usage but nothing that truly interferes with meaning. I saw from your profile that you spent time abroad. Is English your first language?

Nice job with this.
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Review by caffeinecindy
Rated: E | (2.0)
The story is well-written: everything flows smoothly and there is enough tension to vary the pace. Good visual and olfactory imagery in the descriptions as well. However the plot line is a cliche. How many many stories have this same basic plot! I was hoping that you would have found a new spin to put on it-- something to lift it to a higher level. You have a nice style. I'll look forward to reading moore of your work-- something that shows off your originality
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Review by caffeinecindy
Rated: E | (5.0)
Simply expressed-- the sweetness comes through without any "syrup"

Lines such as the ones below stand out for me.
"in inks of rainbow hues,
reasons deep, soul depth or shallow,
reasons selfish, loving, sweet."

There are other great lines as well.
I like the way you used line breaks bring in a sense of tension at the ends of some lines, for example "when he had no clue what " leaves the reader to fill in many possibilities before going on to the next line ad reading actual end of the thought.

Great job!
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