*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/caitstafford
Review Requests: OFF
7 Public Reviews Given
9 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review by Caitlin Stafford
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello Gracelin!
I found some typos:
Then a young man and woman wrapped in each others embrace
Joseph lay limp on the floor
Liza lay down beside her and wrapped her arms comfortingly around her,

Great second chapter! I liked the character development and enjoyed learning about Crystal's family, and I find the looming marriage announcement a really interesting idea. Can't wait to find out what happens at the ball! (Assuming she will end up going)
The only thing I can fault is your use of punctuation, in some parts the words don't flow as well as they could.
I'd really recommend going through the entire thing and reading it aloud, if you've never done so. It's a great way of rooting out anything that just doesn't sound right.
Well done, I'll definitely be reading on.
Caitlin
1 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 1 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/caitstafford