I found this to be an interesting piece. Some of the sentance structuring is a little akward. Be careful to avoid redundancy and wordiness. I recommend that you resubmit the story after another proof-reading as some words appear to be missing. That being said, I found myself drawn into the plot. In fact, I was terribly annoyed when my phone rang just as Mark was traveling the grey corridor. I didn't want to stop reading and was a bit abrupt with the caller so I could return to the journey. I liked the symbolism of the corridor, and who doesn't like to see pay back for the wrongs done by others. I would be happy to review this again if you care to edit and re-submit the piece. Keep up the writing.
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