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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/callumx
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5 Public Reviews Given
9 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of Mustangs  
Review by Callum
Rated: E | (3.0)
This poem is quite a short one but it's effective with regards to the subject matter.
There are some issues with the grammar, for example every line begins with a capital letter but not every line ends with a full stop.
The second line of the poem uses the word "main" where it should read "mane".
What the poem lacks in complexity it makes up for in heart, it is a frank poem about the beauty and grace of the mustang horse and this is conveyed nicely.


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Review of SWEET SIXTEEN  
Review by Callum
Rated: E | (3.5)
I really enjoyed reading this poem!
The subject matter is interesting and I was engaged all the way throughout.
I liked your use of grammar and I feel like the pacing is good.
"She’s surely sour sometimes." is probably my favourite line in the work: I think it's clever.
I don't know a lot about traditional forms of poetry so I can't offer much advice about the syllabic form unfortunately.
One of the few problems I have with this poem is the line "Shall as spinster she stay?", I feel like the line is quite awkward and could be strengthened, but this line's content could be restricted because of the syllabic format.
I'm sorry if this wasn't much help, I really did enjoy your work!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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