Touching. A few grammatical issues: "Its" should be "it's." "Its" is a possessive pronoun, "It's" is the contraction "it is." "Alright" isn't actually a word, the better way to use this term would have been "all right." "Won't you please come home to me" should have ended with a question mark, or be rephrased to be a statement, rather than a request. I definitely liked the tone and the flow of the poem. I can empathize with the speaker here, and feel the confusion he/she is feeling. Aside from the three grammatical issues I've already addressed, this is a very good work. Thank you for sharing.
I love autumn! You really captured the preparation of wildlife for the winter months. Saying farewell to the leaves, the squirels gathering food, the deer. I like how you mentioned that in autumn the nation is dying, because many people see only the beautiful colors, but I feel like you drew attention to the other, less pleasing aspect of the season. I did find the line "Like tom jumping over the candlestick" to be awkward. "Tom" should be capitalized as it's a proper noun, but I would replace that line entirely. Something strikes me as off about "I really love the autumnal feel" as well. I don't it fits in the flow of the poem. Otherwise, amazing poem. I really enjoyed it.
I'm a little confused by this scene. I see a great deal of promise for it to become a full-on story, short or otherwise, but it's not achieving that currently. It feels kind of rushed, stilted, and incomplete to me. The brief dialog is good, and I get the feeling that the hero is really afraid of the demon he's facing. I would like to see something more about the backstory perhaps. That snippet intrigued me and I think that if you were so inclined, you could expand that into something wonderful. But I am left wondering what the point of this was. Why was the hero there? When did we get from him walking in the woods to him sleeping? What got the hero to this point? What does Lucifer want? Why did he come to him just to ask those questions and leave? My main issue was that this story brought up a lot of questions, but didn't answer any. I would suggest expanding on this a little bit, and adding some resolution and explanation of the events of the main story at the very least.
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