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151
151
Review of A Friend  
Review by Captaintaya
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello tayasky here with a review for this poem.
First of all I would like to say that it is great when a person is willing to pray to the lord for a friend..
It shows you are not selfish and are willing to open up and show that you really care for someone else.
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*Flower1* This poem could be placed into stanza's and needs a few added touches however.
Use of comma's are needed and perhaps less capitalizations.

Example:
Lord God I don’t know what to do.
I have a friend and she is so blue
How can I let her know
I have been where she is and where she is about to go

This would probably look better more like:
Lord I don't know what to do,
I have a friend and she is so blue.
How can I let her know,
I have been where she is and where she is about to go.
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Example:
Please Lord I pray
Keep her in your arms and out of Satans way
He only wants to kill steal and destroy
and play with her mind as if it were a toy


This here needs would look more like:
Please lord I pray,
keep her in your arms and out of (satans) way.
He only wants to kill, steal, and destroy,
play with her mind as if it were a toy.

The use of capitalizing (satan) is not needed and the use of the word (and)on the last line can safely go for it's not needed also.
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Example:
I know where she is going and how it all will end
She will never know what hit her or even when
She will one day realize and I hope it’s not to late
God have mercy on her soul and give her lots of grace

Could sound better like:
I know where she is going and how it all will end,
she will never know what hit her or even when.
One day she'll realize, hopefully not to late,
god have mercy on her soul, giving her lots of grace.
.......................................................
Example:
You know Lord she is under attack
Please help me to keep her from getting off track
I have a friend and she is so blue
Lord God I really don’t know what to do.

Perhaps like:
You know lord she is under attack,
please help me to keep her from getting off track.
I have a friend and she is so blue,
lord I really don't know what to do.
.......................................................
Example:
So all I can do is come to you in prayer
And hope that she will listen when I try to share.

Try:
So all I ca do is come to you in prayer,
Hoping that she will listen, when I try to share.
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*Flower4* There are a few places that seemed a bit awkward to me in wording.. Your last two lines threw me on a loop... I am left to wonder....what are you trying to share? Advice?

*Flower5*I can only think that if you go back and edit this and fill in a few places...like what has she done that she needs the lords help.
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Over all this poem does have some meaning to it..like I had said it very sweet of you to pray for a friend..I just wish there was more to this..It just appears to one sided with no explanations of what your friend has done or is going through.

I hope my review is somewhat helpful and if you would like to edit it a bit and e-mail me I'll go over it again and give you another review and another rating!!
152
152
Review of Trees Scream  
Review by Captaintaya
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is very moving, I loved the flow, it really stands out and grabs for attention. A wonderful poem towards nature. Shame that people don't understand nor realize what it would be like as a tree or even a small part of nature at that. If everyone could just open their eyes and take a look around at what mother nature has given us, the destruction of forests would not even exist. This was full of positive imagery, felt as if I was standing right there helpless to protect the screams from them. Bravo with this piece and please I encourage you deeply to Write On !!
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