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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/cel2133
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11 Public Reviews Given
11 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review by Chloe
Rated: E | (4.0)
Initial impression:
Great story! This made me cry, first when he took the picture of her footprints and then, of course at the end. Super sweet and you did a great job of pulling at my heartstrings.
What I liked:
This is a great story of love and death and sickness, how people can and are still good. And it affected me emotionally which is something I feel strongly that good writing should do.
Issues:
There are a few minor grammatical issues, mostly places where it is clear you meant to include a word but forgot it somehow, or used a word when you may have meant to use another. For example: "It was amazing how good of a condition he had kept it (in)." Makes more sense if you add the final word in parentheses. I have found that reading a story out loud to myself or someone else helps me to catch mistakes like this in my own writing. You do not have a lot of these, so it is a rather minor issue.
Final thoughts:
Great story, emotional, well written, could use a little tweaking but I thoroughly enjoyed it.
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