Thanks so much for highlighting my poem in your blog. That was a special treat to wake up to this morning. Congrats on your GPA and working so hard to achieve your goals or perhaps you feel it is your calling? We need more people who are willing to open their hearts to others in need. I have a feeling you will do well as a chaplain.
Great short story! I love Carnitas but after this story, maybe not so much. The story is well written and I appreciate that you kept the prose clean and tight, no extra words or bunny trails with too much information. I can't imagine many worse things that being sick on an airplane but being infested by worms? No way.
Really excellent sonnet. Those last two lines can sometimes be a bear to fit with the flow but you are obviously skilled at this. The only line that threw me was 'yet Christmas dinner rings are out of place.' but then after noodling a bit, I realized it was your commentary on the fact that our use of cell phones can interfere with special times.
I loved your poem even though I am not a fan of zombies and werewolves, anything scary for that matter. To me, Halloween is all about the joy of children as they dress up and go out to receive their treats. You humanized those scary creatures for me and managed to make them seem childlike as well. Excellent job!
I really loved this, I could feel the hurt and confusion your protagonist felt. It resonated with me and I bet it will with many. Love has no rhyme or reason and often, it is unfulfilled. I really think that this would be lovely as a poem rather than prose. Have you considered that? As a poem there would be more emphasis rather than reading it as text. Your word choices are good, the imagery is really beautiful. I would be hard-pressed to choose a favorite section but I really loved this --
"Feeling the lies you left imprinted upon her soul. The agony you tortured her with. Her heart skips a beat no longer being able to hold within the lies you made her believe in."
Keep writing, you are talented at creating a scene for the reader.
I really like this poem of yours. It brings to mind the anger and frustration of dealing with someone who has callously hurt a person and refuses to take responsibility for it. Unfortunately there are a lot of people like that out there who never want to sincerely apologize. I notice that the only punctuation you used is the ending question mark. Perhaps commas would give emphasis and make the reader stop and think when reading, especially in the second stanza.
Keep writing,
Elaine
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/celiasgirl
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.23 seconds at 4:01pm on May 07, 2024 via server web2.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
