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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/chericarroll
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2 Public Reviews Given
2 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
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Review by Cheri Carroll
Rated: E | (2.5)
I think you are skilled at writing that is easy to see. I can read the story with interest and it flows like a story should.
You have some grammar errors, but i suppose that is to be expected when you are just starting out.
Character wise, if you are planning on Kay Fronter being the protagonist, Personally, I found him annoying, he wasn't listening to his master, and I found that I thought he DESERVED to get punished, in fact, I thought it was kinda funny. I like the idea Sorcerers, and you know what the villain of the story is right away, and that he is powerful.
I guess my overall recommendation would be make Kay more likeable, and give me more details.
Thanks for sharing! I think you could have something here!
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2
Review of Forgetfulness  
Review by Cheri Carroll
Rated: E | (5.0)
I REALLY liked this poem. I liked how every paragraph ended with a question:
Can you feel me?
Can you see me?
Will you be able to hear me…?
Will you follow me…?

I also really liked the lines:
Follow my voice to a place I dwell…
Where my petals have withered a long time ago;

I liked the metaphors you used, and the similes. Your poem really took me to another place. Thanks for sharing!

Cheri Carroll
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