"The demon consumes me. I became this empty shell of who I was." These statements are a little cliche. You have some typos too. But over all I really like it. It's good. But dig a little deeper. Tell us more about the darkness and the numbness. Tell us what caused those feelings or how long you've been feeling that way. By the way, I hope you're feeling better now. If not get some help.
Wow! Very good stuff, Sara. I read the first chapter last night. It was really good too. A good sense of mystery and suspense, in both chapters. I like the characters. You got my attention right away and made me want to keep reading. I can't wait to read what happens next. Good Job!
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