Very nice! I like the overall flow of the poem. Very well written and easy to follow. There's not really anything that's striking me as wrong here. The only thing I might suggest is an ABAB format instead of AABB? I personally don't like the AABB style, but you pulled it off regardless. Keep writing, you have a real talent!
Hey! I really like your poem! The overall idea/message and theme comes across really well, which is sometimes tricky in this sort of literary work. You might want to watch out for repeating words, however. It's usually frowned upon in poems, and for good reason. To be honest though, your poem still flows pretty well with the repeats, so it's your call. Keep writing, you do good work!
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