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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/comerford
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11 Public Reviews Given
11 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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1
Review by John Comerford
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
First of all, I have to praise your ability to state your point clearly and concisely--In editorial writing, that's actually the most necessary thing. In that your thesis statement is the necessity of finding valid news sources you may want to give the reader criteria for judgment rather than upholding a given source though, as otherwise you may seem simply to be upholding that news source. The Heritage Institute has valuable statistics? How can I know? The Communist Party and the Ku Klux Klan also cite statistics. where can I check theirs?
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Review by John Comerford
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Cool twist, and the ending did avoid just working the obvious possibilities of the central concept. I would make it longer though; there is, after all, so many more aspects of this relationship to explore. You MIGHT want to edit yourself down to a greater economy of words, but don't mistake that for a "must do."
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Review of Glass  
Review by John Comerford
Rated: E | (3.5)
The metaphor was original though I did need some time to understand that the windows were glasses and so forth. I'm still not clear on whether or not the girl is a painting or not, thought. My big suggestion, however, would just be to build the story from here. You've developed reader interest in both the narrator and the woman--but what kind of guy thinks in such metaphor? And what kind of girl inspires him to think that way?
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