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5 Public Reviews Given
5 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of A Poetic Mind  
Review by Corbin
Rated: E | (3.5)
The subject of analyzing artists is a tough one. Artists are a very complex and diverse set of people.

On the structure of your poem: it seemed very simple. Not much risk was taken. It wasn't bad, but it felt very juvenile to me.

The word choice was my biggest issue. Broadening your word pallet would do you very well in your writing. A lot of the rhymes here seemed almost cliche because of the simple, like rhyming "see" and "me" in the last stanza.

On the subject of the cliche, in the end of you second stanza you write: "sometimes it's like heaven/ sometimes it's like hell". This expression of contradiction is a bit overused now, and felt like it'd be in a pop song.

With all of my negatives out of the way, I must say I can relate with the first stanza, and I do like some of the ideas about creating that you brought up, like the give and take relationship with art and the artist.

In summation, your ideas are pretty solid, just work on the packaging a bit and you're set!

Keep writing!
2
2
Review by Corbin
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
I like the subject a lot. I've had a few mentors and knowing they're impressed or proud is a good feeling.

Some of the structuring in this poem is iffy. The sentence structure changes too often for how short of a poem it is, and it messes with the flow.

Keep writing!
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Review of Purpose Driven  
Review by Corbin
Rated: E | (3.0)
Very interesting choice in narrator for this poem. Not many people would choose a bus driver as the point of veiw for a poem about school, and I thought that was neat.

The way the poem is broken up, is sort of choppy at times, which would have been ok if the choppiness was for the sake of rhym or a rhythm, but I just didn't feel it.

Grammar seems fine, but in the line that says "like blurs in cotton tees, as if the real" i think you meant "reel" like a string of film.

Some of the imagery needs fleshing out a bit, it seemed like some of it had potential to give some insight into some metaphors, but I tih nk you may have moved on too fast.

Overall, not bad. It kept me interested all the way through.
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Review of The Poinsettia  
Review by Corbin
Rated: E | (4.0)
I enjoyed this poem. It was kept brief, and really like how you related the poinsettia to a meaning deeper than itself.

What criticisms I do have involve simple mechanical errors, namely the use of "it's" instead of "its" in the last line of the third stanza.

Other than that, very nice!
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