for the first verse - come on lets take a look - at this ongoing trend - to write not read a book - some too short some don't end - just a suggestion - hopefully it helps the rest to flow.
I like the message within the poem and images it provides. I also like the use of titles to tell the story in concise form. I have not seen this done before but I like it. You have a great way with words and structure, keep it up. cheers
Short to the point and very imaginative. Sometimes the short poems are the best, like this one, the flow the lilt of the lines. Very well done - hope to read more of your work.
rather sad when you thing about it - no soul - great descriptive writing by the way - enjoyed it - kind of wished it was a little longer but that may have ruined it . keep up the great writing. look forward to seeing more work in the future
Very well done - any longer and it would start to drag out. You have written the perfect little story and the details are all there. This is not some random thought thrown down in haste this is a well thought out,well constructed scenario, all the key details to make it a good read, and a good storyline. Keep it up and see if you can Boo as an accomplice next time.
Very well done, the imagery of the aged transforming one into a hunched over, wrinkled, glaucoma suffering individual is exceptional. The fact that you can do this with with such grace and loving portraits is exceptional and shows a caring personality. You turn a phrase as easily as others turn their head (to avoid seeing the old) and the flow and rhythm of these words makes this well worth reading. I would recommend you try and have this published in one of the many new and fast grown magazines focused on the elderly (zoomer, silver and gold, the good life). keep up the good writing
Well done, reminds me of Shel Silverstein's work. I don't know if you ever read any, but this would be close. I would say if you can put a few more together you would have the makings of a great little children's book. If you have never read anything by this author , look it up on the net and read a little, it may be inspiring. Overall I thought it was a great idea and would love to see more of these if you have any ( or decide to write more). keep up the great work.
Now that's hilarious, and I can relate to it 100%. except its my dogs in the car whining and barking because there are people around and no one is petting them (big sucky labs) but I find when I'm driving home from groceries or dropping the wife at work Saturday morning my car instinctively turns at every garage sale sign. It was great when the kids were young for toys and books, but this is not even the same car, does it get transferred through the license plate when you buy a new car???? seems crazy but i think its true, what other explanation could there be. I enjoyed this immensely, mostly because it hit so close to home. thanks for the chuckle I needed that.
I'm not sure that it matters but the third grouping is reversed from the rest. It just my opinion but I think it would sound better if you just switched the lines so that they match the rest of your poem. Other than that way to go, and congrads. sounds like you found the right person in your life. Hopefully Miss Right will be you Miss Write muse.
very well done, and very insightful. I have never thought of poetry that done that way. the relationship between parents and kids , no what what age, and how they depend upon each other one way or another. I have always like the saying the the difference between toddlers and the elderly are the size of the diaper. However cruel that is, it is also painfully true. keep up the good work, and keep watching I may try one of those myself.
A+ nice rhythm , playful rhyme, great use of space and time. Sorry had to do that ( have always wanted to do that) enjoyed it completely. nothing left to say, cannot improve on this in any way, any change would only throw of the whole poem. Keep them coming, if you do have anymore acrostics please let me know, I am interested in writing one and could use some examples. Again , well done.
sounds great to me I wouldn't change a thing. Shows honest emotion and a grasp of someones pain in making "one bad decision" that will stay with you for life (I stupidly picked up and not enough sense to put down)
Keep up the great work
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