Crown Of Red's (crown_of_red) Reviews

This is such a fantabulous narrative poem! If you really want to see any grammatical issues, I can say that I spotted only one. Then again, it's a poem, and sometimes such things do not need to be fixed.

Hollywood gem.

~Keep Writin'!

3

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4323080

Review of Blue Jay

Review by Crown Of Red

Rated: E

| (4.0)

Beautiful! Very few errors, and a lovely story! I can imagine this as a cute little story about a little boy... ~Keep Writin'!

When I was a younger, I met a girl that had made me her perfect friend. I would carry her bags, take off her shoes, and occasionally, if she was feeling down, I would clean her room. I didn't do this out of love, no. I was far too small to understand even the notion of love. But what I could understand was inferiority. She was, naturally, astounding. A grade above me and the celebrated captain of the track team. Her hair was never seen loose. While on the field she would put it in a perky bun that was held by a sparkling silver scrunchie. Any other time it was up with on of her seemingly endless supply of hair-ties. Each one chosen to specifically complement or contrast her blazing pearl eyes and her blonde stricken hair. She used them as crowns, I suppose, and to place herself above the rest of the "queens" she made sure she never wore the same one twice.

4

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4323077

Review of Fruity fun

Review by Crown Of Red

Rated: E

| (3.0)

This is a nice poem, but I have a few suggestions. First of all, I feel as if the poem should be separated into different stanzas like so:

Froot Loops are my favorite food
I eat them by the box
I love them in any mood

Froot Loops are my favorite food
To eat them I am sneaky like a fox
I eat them if they were as hard as rocks <---- They are as hard as rocks, yet they are your favorite?

Front Loops are my favorite food
I eat them by the box!

Perhaps you could add a bit of alliteration, assonance, or consonance to make the poem smoother to recite, but the overall concept is good! ~Keep Writin'!

5

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4321905

Review of Perspective

Review by Crown Of Red

Rated: E

| (4.0)

Nice! I love the little twist. It's slightly cliche, but still great overall!

There is only one grammar issue, however:
"That is far away." Dad said. "Stay here while I get my telescope."

The end of the quote should have a comma:
"That is far away," Dad said.

Keep writing! Very cute~