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5 Public Reviews Given
5 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of Photo Swag  
Review by C. Meloni
Rated: E | (3.5)
I love the last line:
"Now thats 'Swag'"

I really enjoyed this, I thought the subject was interesting. My only critique would be the grammar, ie. multiple exclamation points in the line "AND THEY HAVE NOTHING!!!" but if it's a stylistic choice, I guess it isn't too distracting. :)

Some of it is also very simple ("the pain you never express") and could be reworded, and other parts are repetitive (again, it could be a stylistic choice, but it throws me off).

Overall, I dig it.
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Review of Early Poetry  
Review by C. Meloni
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
Both poems are simple but powerful. I especially like the first, it's something I can relate to.

In "Itching," I think there could be a more effective ending there. "There will be rest for me" is something I was expecting; it's been used too much. I would suggest trying a word other than "rest" to convey (what I interpret to mean) "death."

"Grey" is very gray. So... good work on that, I suppose. But I'd recommend providing some kind of context for these statements about the world.

The title of this item is "Early Poems," so I'm assuming you wrote these a while ago, but they might be worth revisiting for edits.
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Review of A Dirty Mind  
Review by C. Meloni
Rated: E | (4.0)
This sort of reminds me of "Kubla Khan." And in that way, I wish this were longer. I feel as though there must be more to your mind than this. Why don't you just run with that and let your imagination go?

I love the punctuation, it's unconventional and it works fabulously for the purposes of this piece. I enjoy the journey this poem takes me on, literally a journey through a dirty mind.

Some cliches are evident, particularly the "twilight sky," but beyond that, it's a splendid work.

Again, I just wish it were longer.
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