This is so good! Your writing is engaging and really expresses Elsa's feelings and sadness. I am interested to read more about her character and how she is going to break free of the world she is currently and hopefully carve a better path for herself. It seems as though she has to act as more of a motherly figure to her younger siblings and has more responsibilities then you average student does. So far I like this character and you are doing a good job writing her! Keep up the great work and I hope to read more of this story soon!
This is a really good start to the story! You bring in intrigue with this dark winged creature that has a appeared and stolen the queen and heir and create a measure of curiosity within your readers when the human body/creature is discovered which encourages people to come back and read more to find out what is happening! I am enjoying this story so far keep up the good work! Maybe in the next chapter add some more background on the characters and the setting to give readers a better feel for the story!
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