David's (david2014) Reviews

David

Review Requests: OFF

16 Public Reviews Given

16 Total Reviews Given

1

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4560306

Review of The Sword of Arrine

Review by David

Rated: E

| (3.0)

This is okay.Sadly the rhyme scheme,although very clever is tedious to read.There is no theme either.Even a fable can have a lesson to learn.This is very well constructed but goes nowhere.Its just a tale without any point.

2

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4536664

Review of Heart Beasts Fast

Review by David

Rated: E

| (1.0)

This is filled with exaggerations and nonsense.If you didn't sleep or breathe you would be dead.You cant keep loving someone for ever because you won't live for ever.This makes Love some horrible entrapment worse than Corona Virus.I think what you really want to say is "like". I like spending time with you.Anyway you believe all the hog wash in the movies about love and miss out on what it really is

3

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4524253

Review of Seeking Color

Review by David

Rated: 13+ | N/A (Review only item.)

I like this because its short.However I have some problems with it. The first problem I have is the start.It should start with "An Ache". Secondly the actual "ache" is not explained.Was it a lost love or maybe you ran over a kitten.I hate guessing.The next sentence is not clear.Maybe it should be "My sheltered heart is succumbing to a cold world." Why is it cold.Is it winter or has someone shut the door on you? It should be "Escape is the only hope for sanity.The mistake are not your fault.This is the kind of minimalist poetry that you fin in SMS or facebook messages.It also needs another verse explaining why you are going ma.

4

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4521901

Review of My Tiny Gospel Book of Poetry{/center}

Review by David

Rated: E

| (2.5)

This is a very personal account based on fairy tales.Sadly God doesn't exist.Jesus didn't exist.Santa Claus does exist however so does the tooth fairy.Better luck in the next life.Some thoughts don't start with a negative action its confusing.Instead of "have you ever not shared." Try Have you ever kept quiet about your beliefs.Just my humble opinion

5

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4521411

Review of Perfectly imperfect

Review by David

Rated: E

| (2.0)

This is a fun read.The problem is that the author is in a hurry to tell the "joke".I know this becasue the author doesn't name the child. Without a name this is just stand up comedy not literature.

6

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4521159

Review of Upon A Distant Star

Review by David

Rated: E

| (2.0)

This seems like a rap song.Sadly I hate rap songs it is just forced rhyme without a central message.The poem keeps referring to blindness and plight but doesn't explain anything.I blame rap music and social media form the degeneration of poetry

7

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4520448

Review of Review of Rindar's Response lsn4

Review by David

Rated: E

| (2.5)

This is very imaginative however I found it a little confusing.What is CC where are these people and what are they confronting.If you say acting on core beliefs you need to tell the reader what they are