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Review of Passage  
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
The beginning of the story is very sing-songy; it brings you in with a nice rhythm of words. It was almost as if the mother's story was being chanting to the younger girl. It was interesting that when Olivette's thoughts took over the words were harder setting. Not sure if that makes sense, or not, but it's kind of like going from reading poetry to reading prose. The way you read it is changed.

The comment about the men urinating in the river was confusing. Up until that point, there seemed to only be women in the area and that the men were the bondo devils. It's possible that you put the comment about the river to cause that very reaction, but I'm not sure if it was a good choice. It did cause a double take, regardless.

The idea that Aminata seemed proud of her transformation was very intriguing, especially once you learn what really took place. It showed just how separated Olivette was from the rest of her family. I also really enjoyed the ending. I don't think I should quite use the word enjoy, but I mean to compliment the twist. I ended the story wondering whether the women themselves were the bondo devils, whether they believed themselves to be or not. Like, maybe there once was a massacre of sorts in that village, so the children were "saved" with this change. When they asked why, the adults told a fairy tale much like Little Red Riding Hood. So the story was passed down and even though the "devils" didn't return, the people feared them just the same.

In the end the women became the devils. This is all speculation, of course, but it's to show that the ending brings a lot of questions to mind, but the answers are easily obtained given the amount of details you involved in your story.

My answer to you question is no, I do not believe this story to be too abstract. In fact, I believe this story could be based on fact, either of a cult existence, or a small separated village.
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