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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/deks
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4 Public Reviews Given
5 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of Life Flows On  
Review by DEKS
Rated: E | (4.5)
I like the way you compare life's ups and downs with us being carried along by the source of life, the water. we can give up or we can pick ourselves up and truimph over it helping others to face the rapids and whirlpools to receive our ultimate trophy.We must play with the cards that life has dealt us.
Well done!
Regards
Deks
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Review by DEKS
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
IT IS A GOOD STORY WITH POTENTIAL AND A NICE TWIST AT THE END. I LIKED IT, BUT FOUND THE STUCCATO WRITING STYLE A LITTLE DISCONSERTING. TO BE FAIR, IT DOES CONTRIBUTE TO THE TENSION OF THE STORY UNFOLDING. BE CAREFUL NOT TO LOOSE THE READER WITH TOO MANY JUMPS IN TIME. SOMETIMES THE DESCRIPTIONS ARE TOO VERBIOUS. RATHER SHOW THAN TELL. THERE ARE VARIOUS GRAMMATICAL AND SPELLING ERRORS, BUT NOT TO WORRY. YOU HAVE GREAT POTENTIAL WITH THE CORRECT GUIDANCE.
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Review of The Visitor  
Review by DEKS
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I LIKED YOUR STORY. IT IMMEDIATLY GRABS ONE AND DRAW YOU INTO TRAVIS'S MIND. I ALSO LIKE HIS INTERNAL STRUGGLE AS HE TRIES TO CONVINCE HIMSELF AND THE READER THAT HE IS OK, BUT IN THE END HE MANAGE TO SATISFY HIS OWN FANTACY AND LEAVES THE READER WITH THE IMAGE OF WHAT A PHSYCOPATHS'S REAL PROBLEM IS.
NO CONSIENCE. WELL DONE. A SHORT STORY ARE ONE OF THE MOST DIFFICULT CREATIVE WRITNG CHALENGES AND YOU'VE BEATEN IT HANDS DOWN! OLY ONE TYPO ERROR - "ARE YOU NOW? 'THAN' SHOULD BE 'THEN'
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Review of Show Horse  
Review by DEKS
Rated: E | (2.0)
I loved the story line and your knowledge of horses and farmlife in general. I would have preferred fewer characters, which makes it easier to follow the story line and also fewer names for the horses. Concentrate more on the bond developing between girl and horse. You have great potential, but leave things that does not move the story along e.g. Unnessecary discriptions that does not contribute to the story line. Good luck. I'm looking forward to more of your stories.
Well done- Deks
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