Wow! First of all, your use of iambic pentameter makes this poem remarkably easy to read. The flow feels effortless. It is amazing that in a poem of such short length that your are able to craft the a clear image of this woman. A particularly revealing line is "Her luminescence rivaled the stars' white" (no pun intended). Also, the news of her disease and death comes as quickly as I'm sure you intended. Her death is as startling to me as to the people who admired her.
I have only a small suggestion for improvement, and that is to find a more descriptive word than "better" in line 4. I'm not sure what it means to be "better than a gem." I am only left wondering, better in what way(s)? Other than that very small exception, I thoroughly enjoyed this piece, and your ease with the language made it like a breath of fresh air to read.
Good work!
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.20 seconds at 9:27pm on May 03, 2024 via server web2.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
My review has been submitted for consideration in "