I enjoyed the whole thing; though I'd prefer less dialogues but if it's a must to tell the story completely, I think it's better if you describe how or in what manner they say it further instead of just stating that it was a demand, plead or not a question.
If you don't get what I'm trying to tell you; don't mind me. I have my own crazy world.
The story is surely very thrilling, at least when I got to the end; I wanted to read more.
I love fantasy stories and I believe to get a reader hooked to one, which is not easy, is to keep the plot flowing, straight forward yet simple enough for them to imagine the scenes vividly.
You're certainly a great writer and I hope you'll take the time to read and review one of my stories as well.
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