I enjoyed the whole thing; though I'd prefer less dialogues but if it's a must to tell the story completely, I think it's better if you describe how or in what manner they say it further instead of just stating that it was a demand, plead or not a question.
If you don't get what I'm trying to tell you; don't mind me. I have my own crazy world.
The story is surely very thrilling, at least when I got to the end; I wanted to read more.
I love fantasy stories and I believe to get a reader hooked to one, which is not easy, is to keep the plot flowing, straight forward yet simple enough for them to imagine the scenes vividly.
You're certainly a great writer and I hope you'll take the time to read and review one of my stories as well.
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/dominantmind
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.28 seconds at 1:38am on May 06, 2024 via server web1.