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3 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of A Fun Habit  
Review by DomingoDeLeon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Tim, here are my personal thoughts:

Sustain your insightful subject matter. I never thought about what it means to enable oneself to have fun, and how to avoid the "sluggish indifference," which I, admittedly so often feel! Additionally, I loved your use of "galavanting." These were simple things and obstacles you illumined to me that I was experiencing! In fact, I will consider these words in my decision to attend and upcoming holiday event.

An improve: the rhythm and flow was well until it flatly stops at "or sporting event." It changes the cadence of the line before it, and leaves me wondering when the rhythm of the next line should begin. The result is an awkward distraction to an otherwise compelling poetic set of ideas. Additionally, I found "significant other" to be too sterile of a word for descriptive poetry, especially in the same poem as a phrase like "taking the proverbial horse by the reins" and "passion." Family, friends and significant others I feel could all be replaced with more descriptive words similar to the vivacious diction you've used throughout the poem while still getting the idea across. For instance, "Family, comrades, and lovers of a kindred heart" or something of the more elegant effect.

All in all, it was an enjoyable poem and I hope the review was helpful. Good luck and thank you.
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Review of Last Dance  
Review by DomingoDeLeon
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Sustain your rhythm and use of diction, they are both powerfully expressive and skillfully used. An improvement would be to fix the small punctuation error, which is simple. Otherwise, I thought this was a solid poem. Here are my personal reactions to it:

I could envision my own personal memories of old times with females and dancing ball-room. They mixed with feelings of wonder and excitement. It reminded me of friends I knew and had a great time with, but due to circumstances, it all ended. We went our separate ways as life churned onward, like "past cherished memories of no use anymore again." Nonetheless, those memories stick fondly in my mind as you so expressively state as "so hard to wipe off."

It was a pleasure to read. Thank you.
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