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8 Public Reviews Given
19 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review by Drake Silverwing
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
The rating says it all. That was by far one of the best stories I've ever read to date. It didn't describe much, but the folly's between the knight and gnome was wonderful.

The language used was nothing more then perfect. The picture that you've painted was real to my minds eye. It was well thought out, planned and executed.

If there was a higher rating it would have to be a 10.0

I enjoyed every joke, every tease. Well done! Two thumbs up. ***** stars!

We'll worth the Gps's.

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Review by Drake Silverwing
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Thank you for letting me read these first two chapters of your story. Each one was very well written, and there is only one thing I saw that I would change.

Being published myself, I have learned over time never to open the story with a 'Weather Report'. That very first lines should capture the feeling of the story, and when you start out tellig about the weather it dulls it's finish.

You can do the weather but try to work it in with the first paragraph. A Weather report is like saying "Once upon a time" in a horror story. The reader doesn't care if it's raining or sunny. They want that hook, that few first likes that draw them into the rest of the story.

After the weather report everything else were great! Now this is oppinion. Beeing a fellow writer and reader, I think f you could change the start of the story it would be perfect.

I look forward to Chapter three
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