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51 Public Reviews Given
65 Total Reviews Given
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Review of The One I Loathe  
for entry "Chapter 17
Review by duskymeadow
Rated: E | (5.0)

To amend..............
'If didn’t know any better, I would think he was trying to romance me'-----If I didn't know better
'There was a rolled up fire-safety escape ladder that lead from my window'------------that led from my window
'he lead me up the stairs of the fort and to the upper platform of it. '----------he led me
'he took my wet chin in his palm and tilted it up towards is lips'--------------his lips
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Review of The One I Loathe  
for entry "Chapter 16
Review by duskymeadow
Rated: E | (4.5)

To amend....................
'He held up two of the,'--------of the ties
“Sam. Chill. Breath!”-------breathe
'But…I just don’t return these feelings you have for me! '------i just can't return
“Oh, your going to bring that up are you?” He said, play offensively.'------------------you're going .................pretending to play offensively
“Or that time Will drug my across the ground my by hair '--------------Will dragged me across the ground by my hair
' Then I saw then, in the middle of the dance floor, dancing closely. Very closely.'------------I saw them
'when Sam happed in the front seat with a silly grin on his face'----------hopped
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Review of The One I Loathe  
for entry "Chapter 15
Review by duskymeadow
Rated: E | (4.5)
'But even all that wasn’t thing that surprised the most.'--------wasn't the thing that surprised me the most
'Granted he was my boyfriend and there is absolutely way I should have been having feelings '---------------no way i should
'My parents were going to kill me!'--------are going
'but she was an horrible insecure person on the inside'-------was a horrible
'but when got out of the car, she grabbed her suitcase, and slammed her door. I figured, I wasn’t welcome. '-------------when she got...................................i wasn't welcomed
'I didn’t why, I just knew I needed to.'------- I didn't know why
“Don’t worry, we’d just we going as friends.'----------we'd just be going
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Review of The One I Loathe  
for entry "Chapter 14
Review by duskymeadow
Rated: E | (4.5)
"Hilary and I can hang our any night," I relented dejectedly. --------hang out
'Thanks Soph! This means a lot to means to me!'---------means a lot to me
'making out the sofa, ' -------on the sofa
'but he shook away my grasp and walked right up to them.' ---------------shook away from my

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Review of The One I Loathe  
for entry "Chapter 13
Review by duskymeadow
Rated: E | (4.5)
'As soon as we we’re out the door he stopped'---------as we were
'I know I sounded like idiot on the phone that one time, but I really like you.”-------like an idiot
'Really?” Her asked, stunned'-----------he asked
' We continued until it become deeper.'--------became
'Yeah, nice” I said, pulling he towards me.'---------her towards me
“…and he told be that your families went to a Drive-In theatre '----------he told me
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Review of The One I Loathe  
for entry "Chapter 12
Review by duskymeadow
Rated: E | (4.5)
'Part of knew that Sophie was lonely '------Part of me
'I was so relived when Audrey came through the '----------relieved when
'My heart kept beating rapidly I walked to detention and sat down. '--------kept beating rapidly as i walked
'Trent wasn’t the only who’d changed since last summer! '-------only one



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Review of The One I Loathe  
for entry "Chapter 11
Review by duskymeadow
Rated: E | (4.5)
'I’d just avoid talking to him as much possible from now on! '--------as much as
'to make it look like every guy should where his hair like that.'------should wear
'This evening was going to fun '-------going to be
“They’ve know each other for 10 minutes and they already have decided they love each other?” ----------they've known
'considering my tract record when it came to guys!'-------track record
'Did I compromise a friendship to pursue something more or did I keep what we had now and try to ignore my feelings?'--------------------------------- Do I ................or do I .....what we have

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Review of The One I Loathe  
for entry "Chapter 10
Review by duskymeadow
Rated: E | (4.5)
'I told her about what happened at school that day. '--------what had happend
'But wouldn’t calling a boy a come spend the evening with you'--------calling a boy to come
"I mean, sure we were friends now," --------we are
'thought for moment that I could be a crazed psychotic lunatic ready to hack me into little bits''---------that there could be a
'I was desperate some company! '-------for some company
'mortified to see that both Trent and mine’s parents were staring right at us! '------ my parents
'partially amused faces of out parents,'--------of our
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Review of The One I Loathe  
for entry "Chapter 9
Review by duskymeadow
Rated: E | (4.5)
'What could I do? '-------should
“Chill, girl! I was just going to ask you is you wanted to go to Winter Formal with me,”--------ask you if you
'There was only person I wanted to see right then.'-------was only one person
'I was headed down the hallway toward the cafeteria'--------heading down
"Then I realized I was till holding her hands' ------ was still
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Review of The One I Loathe  
for entry "Chapter 8
Review by duskymeadow
Rated: E | (4.5)
'After a while, Mom and Dad suggested we meet to Bennets for lunch'-------meet with
“Nothing! We’re just friends. That all.” -----that's all
'To early for me. I rolled on my belly and closed my eyes.' ------too early
'Every time we talked, I couldn’t help but what to know more and more about her.'-----------but want
'And of coarse, smitten Abby was hanging on to Will’s every word'----------of course
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Review of The One I Loathe  
for entry "Chapter 7
Review by duskymeadow
Rated: E | (4.5)
"Did I...have feelings for Trent" ---------Do I .....
"I pushed the thought out of head,' ------out of my head
"Cecilia and I had it all planned out when you and were Trent were born” ------you and Trent were
'we arn't getting married!”------aren't
'Oh, and your giving Sophie a ride home'-----you're
'That would definantly be new territory. '---------definitely
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Review of The One I Loathe  
for entry "Chapter 6
Review by duskymeadow
Rated: E | (4.5)

To amend.............
"I was not going see Jeremy break another girl’s heart, even if it was one I hated.'--------was not going to see
'I’ll leave her alone of it helps you sleep at night, Babe”' ----------leave her alone if it
"The teacher game me a glare" -------gave me

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Review of The One I Loathe  
for entry "Chapter 5
Review by duskymeadow
Rated: E | (4.5)
To change if u want to .........
"This was strangely friendly behavior." -------was a
"now hw was asking me out for pizza"------now he
'she told both of them that it was good to see them and came walking over toward us.' -------towards us

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Review of The One I Loathe  
for entry "Chapter 4
Review by duskymeadow
Rated: E | (4.5)

Some amends .......
"but I figured I wouldn’t be welcome there anymore"-------welcomed
"When I sat down next to her though, they all were staring me funny." -------they were all staring at me
"My dad said that you could came down to Colorado during Winter Break” ------ you could come down
“How are we supposed to keep out relationship alive by seeing each other ONCE A YEAR?” -------keep our
“Hey, man! I’ve got good new for you!”-------good news
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Review of The One I Loathe  
for entry "Chapter 3
Review by duskymeadow
Rated: E | (4.5)

Some things to amend ...........
"Just when things when starting to look up,"------ things were
"I should’ve starting getting ready hours ago"-----started getting readied
'he said right before walking of in the other direction. '------walking off in another
'I was to mad to cry.'------too mad
"I had crossed and intersection earlier " ---------crossed an
"so I found you cell phone"------ your cell phone
"and decided that could find your way home from there"----- decided that you could
"stunned that he’d go to all that trouble for me." -------he'd go through all that
" I didn’t feel one bit awkward pouring out my soul to him" -------one bit of awkwardness
"I completely forgot that I vowed to hate him!" ------ i had completely forgot
"He reached his down (???)and brushed a newly fallen tear from my cheek"
"Why had he come to get me rather than my one of my parents?"-------rather than one of my
"Despite what I might have though, Trent didn’t care about me."-------- might have thought
"The girl I live to loath! " ------loathe
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Review of The One I Loathe  
for entry "Chapter 2
Review by duskymeadow
Rated: E | (4.5)

Some mistakes i've read ..........
'I ran a brush threw my normally straightened blonde hair' -------through my
"I was such a shame"------ It was
"Now your gonna get it! " ------you're
"wishing someone would remove it from her presance immediantly" ------presence immediately
"Oh no, hear it came. " ------here it
"and that I think your really pretty "-------you're
“I’m sorry Will isn’t here to hang out with"---------with you
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Review of The One I Loathe  
for entry "Chapter 1
Review by duskymeadow
Rated: E | (4.5)

I liked reading it.
Few adjustments though........
"A whole weekend of trying the entertain the" ----- trying to
'he choose me'------chose
'it’s that times of year again'-------time
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Review of Swingerella  
Review by duskymeadow
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I loved reading your story, it was sweet and funny. It made me smile until the end. ^^
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Review of The Greatest Gift  
Review by duskymeadow
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Bless you,
I really liked the things you wrote, it was wonderfully written. ^^
It is true that people tend to judge others, it's like human nature but a great man once said (Joel Osteen) that we are here not to judge but to heal others. People tend to think they know everything about a person but obviously they don't. We can't honestly say that we know that person well because we haven't been in that person's shoes before. We ourselves don't fully know what that person has gone through in his/ her life to act like the person they are today.That's why people should not be too quick to judge, it's always best to see the good in others, that's what i think.
As a seventeen year old, I tend to think first before I act since I wouldn't want to regret later on.
I keep my head cool at all times and as the saying goes, "Forgive and forget" in orders the person to move on with life.
Oops.......I wrote a little too much, I hope you don't mind but I honestly really enjoyed reading your work.^^
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Review by duskymeadow
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
That was an interesting piece of story, i enjoyed it and i was smiling all the way to the end ^^
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Review of DAD  
Review by duskymeadow
Rated: E | (4.5)
I loved your poem very much, it was very heart-warming
keep up the good work ^^
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Review of Moonlight  
Review by duskymeadow
Rated: E | (4.0)
Nicely written, it's so sad ....the ending i mean -_-
Your story style reminds me of the Japenese mangas that i read
Anyways..........keep it up ^^
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Review of The Window  
Review by duskymeadow
Rated: E | (4.0)
Nice poem, lovely ^^
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Review of I Can't Feel  
Review by duskymeadow
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Nice story ^^ Keep it up
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Review of A Good Night  
Review by duskymeadow
Rated: E | (4.5)
Lovely poem^^
Keep up the good work ^^
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