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6 Public Reviews Given
6 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review by E.gleaves
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
For the most part your rhyming was really good. I only noticed that it rhymed during reading because I was looking for a rhyme scheme when I saw the poem's format. You also successfully succeeded in conveying your feelings about animal rights and your disdain for the reasons why certain animals are slaughtered. Also by giving the animals human voices you combat the views some people have about animals being lower beings than man. The last line of the last stanza sounds weird though, you should consider re-phrasing it. But it's hard to keep such good rhyming consistent so that comment is very nit picky.
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Review by E.gleaves
Rated: 13+ | (2.5)
This reads more like a short story than a poem. You don't have the poetical techniques present to qualify it as poetry. The writing its self is not bad it is just not poetic
3
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Review by E.gleaves
Rated: E | (2.5)
This story has the potential to be very interesting. However, you are lacking a setting, a time and an ending. You could make the story a conversation between two unnamed characters. That way you could juxtapose two different mental states and let the reader decide who to side with. Think about it you need the opposite of insanity to rightfully depict insanity; the same thing is true about any other character trait you want to depict. Also, I think you need to extend the story so the events aren't so random. The idea is really fresh and I'd be interested in viewing the finished product
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