I am glad to have had the opportunity to read "How I Rate" . Please remember to take my opinion for what it is- strictly my opinion. If you read something you don't like, disregard it. Likewise, if you read something helpful, use it!
Item Summary
Title/ description: appropriate
Rating: appropriate
Body: An explanation of rating and reviewing techniques that you use.
You did a wonderful job with your explanations! They were thorough, well investigated, and judging from your public reviews, wonderfully executed!
The use of emoticons really helped identify components of a piece that you did or did not favor.
I think that you should provide a link to this item in your reviews, so that whoever receives your review can have quick referencing to your system of rating.
I appreciate a detailed synopsis on how a member chooses to review. It lets me know what component strikes the reviewer the hardest, and which ones the reviewer is lenient about.
All in all, a great memo to have in one's port!
*snow* & 's
When you write:
If you’re looking for a highly rated review from me I look favorably upon…
You need a comma between "me" and "I".
Parting Thoughts
Keep up the great work with your writing & reviewing!
I am glad to have had the opportunity to read "Daddy's Little Angel" . Please remember to take my opinion for what it is- strictly my opinion. If you read something you don't like, disregard it. Likewise, if you read something helpful, use it!
Item Summary
The poem is about a young and abused girl who, by the end of the poem, is free and roaming about with the angels.
Induced emotions: &
Effectiveness: The emotions were just right for this poem, while forlorn and meloncholy, it is still joyful to know that the character no longer has to suffer.
You did a wonderful job with the poem. You delivered each stanza so well, the emotions struck clearly and precisely. Just what I want in a poem!
*snow* Critic's Quote *snow*
"Daddy's Little Angel is a poem that strikes the heart with precision and force. It will leave you thinking long after you have finished the final line..." ~ Brae, a member of WdC
& 's
In the first stanza you write:
She wonders why this is happening,
But now she'll never know why
The first mistake in the section is the repitition of "why". It is redundant to say she wonders why but she will never know why. A better way to phrase this would be: She wonders why, but now she will never know.
The second mistake is in the second line alone. You say but NOW she will never know why. The events in the rest of the poem (which are written in present tense) have not yet happened. The best way to fix this is to discard the word. It takes away any confusion.
*snow*Parting Thoughts *snow*
You have done a wonderful job with this! Keep up the great writing; I look forward to reading more of your poetry soon!
I am glad to have had the opportunity to view "My Review Tool" . Please remember to take my opinion for what it is- strictly my opinion. If you read something you don't like, disregard it. Likewise, if you read something helpful, use it!
Item Summary
The item is perpetually a review tool for The Paper Doll Gang.
*snow* & 's *snow*
Were you have the line: Favourite part
You should have a colon at the end to match all of the other headings.
Since the quote at the top is a complete thought it should have some type of end punctuation. Since it is an imperative sentence, it should end in a period.
Suggestions For Improvement
It is possible to have multiple review tools without taking up any space within your portfolio. Instead of making an item for every review tool you could quite simply use the Writing.Com Review Tool.
You can find it under "My Places" to the left of the site beneath the heading "Site Navigation". It will be listed as My Review Tool
You will need Basic membership or above to use it, but it comes in handy! You can create and edit review tools with writingML tags and load them when your going to review. (There is a button where you type your reviews that you can click to use your review tools)
Doing so will decrease the time it takes to set up your review!
*snow*Parting Thoughts *snow*
I hope you continue to give reviews in a similar format, and keep up all the great work!
I am glad to have the opportunity (and time) to re-read and review some more chapters of "City of Sin". Please take my opinion for what it is--my opinion. Read something you don't like in this review, disregard it completely! Read something very helpful, by all means, use it!
Chapter 1 review:
The Technicalities
There was 1 mistake--very minor and simple.
She could not help glancing behind her fearful that someone was following.
In the above sentence from the story, there should be a comma between "her" and "fearful" as they are seperate clauses.
Suggestions
I have no suggestions for the piece, it is wonderful the way it is!
Compliments
This is a wonderful story! Nomatter how many times the reader revisits the beginning, it only gets better. Infact, the more times the reader reads it, the more they will notice what they had not noticed the first time through. In simpler terms
"City of Sin is a magical tale, meant to be read a thousand times..."
~ NOTE~
1. The above quote, by me, will change and adapt as I progress in the reviews of the Novel.
2. This is a new feature in my reviews, so tell me if it works out!
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1609194 by Not Available.
I can't wait to finish reviewing all the other chapters!!!
Sincerely,
Brae
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I am pleased to have had the opportunity to read your poem. The following review includes all intitial reactions and thoughts I had while reading your work, as well as a few suggestions. Please remember that these are only my opinions. You are the ultimate deciding facter for your piece.
The Technicalities
There were very few technical errors in the piece. These include:
myn ~ mine
Some of your sentances are structured incorrectly, which can hinder your readers from understanding and enjoying the piece.
Take a look at the first sentance in the second paragraph:
I hear her voice sing, a great singer, managed to capture my heart with words and yet I just feel sorrow while I feelhis prescense from far away.
~You do not refer to the same subject through the sentance.
~The sentence is stringy.
One alternate way to write it:
I hear his voice- he is a wonderful singer. It managed to capture my heat with words, but I just feel sorrow as his prescense is far from here.
Now take a look at the last sentence in your piece:
I feel his lips left on myn and the pain across my chest that has not left me, will it ever leave me?
~ here you have a run-on sentence.
One alternate way to write it:
I feel his lips on mine, and a pain across my chest that has not left me; will it ever?
Suggestions
I think that you have catagorized this piece incorrectly. What you have written isn't a poem, it is prose. Many people don't make the descretion until expirimenting with both forms.
Prose is mainly written as a descriptive short. In multiple or single paragraphs all relating to and intensly describing its subject without much use of figurative language.
Poetry has a much different form than prose. It is written in stanzas and uses many different figurative language aids.
For more information about Poetry Vs. Prose and to expirement with them, you can check out this helpful article:
The first sentence is beautiful and well written, displaying the inner feelings and thoughts of the author.
The last sentence goes into amazing depth and laces nostalgia through the readers thoughts and feelings toward what is read.
Overall, you have a masterpiece in the making. With a few edits, this piece could really go places!
I hope you continue to write wonderful poetry/ prose and I look forward to reading more from you in the future.
If you would like me to, I will definately come back and re-review the piece if should you decide to edit it. Please do not hesitate to ask me!
Sincerely,
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Brae
Poetry Tip #1
Poetry is the language of the heart and soul. Some speak it fluently, but others need a little more encouragement. Reading and anylizing poetry by various other authors can help a great deal when expirementing with this language.
~ Please note that this poetry review includes a random tip. It is not linked in any way towards the above review.
Are you seriously interested in the art of poetry and prose? Are you intrigued by the idea of communicating with other experienced and/or beginner poets? Then be sure to check out:
About a year ago, when I was new to the site, I gave a review of this very item. The review I gave wasn't much of a review at all. Over the past year, I have become a much more avid member of the community and have learned the importance of a good review, and so I decided to go back and give better reviews to those who I did not review well the first time. You are at the top of the list.
I am happy to have had the opportunity to read this again, happy that you did not get rid of the item before I was able to review it once more. The following review contains thoughts and reactions that I had as I read your piece, as well as some suggestions if needed to be noted. Please remember that these are only my opinions, not guidlines for your writing. You are the ultimate deciding factor for your piece.
Suggestions
As I read over the story I noticed not punctuation or grammatical errors. All the technicalities were in order.
My Compliments to You
Dedicating the story as you have, gave the story a much more sincere tone. It gives the reader a glimps into your own personal experiences and enhances the impact of the story.
I love how you have given the character "a light at the end of tunnel". The resolution was perfect for this story, alleviating the tension from the telling of the characters hard and unfair life. You have painted a wonderful scenerio full of light and hope, a theme as old as time itself, and you have depicted these wonderfully.
This story is one of those very few where character development are carried off the charts, a beautiful and well written tale!
I look forward to reading more of your work soon. In the mean time, keep up the wonderful story telling!
Sincerely,
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Brae
I am glad that I had the opportunity to read your poem! The following review consists of my reactions while reading your poem as well as some suggestions. Please remember, that these suggestions are not guidlines for your writing. This is your work, so you make all the ultimate dicisions regarding it.
Initial Reactions and Thoughts
The sincerity of your tone reverberates intensly from word to word and from line to line. Your descriptions dipict the essence of your subject well.
Suggestions/ Tips
1. Adding a footnote about the fourth dimension may help your readers better understand the situation of the wandering soul.
2. Using punctuation can be tricky at times, but using it regularly and correctly can aid the flow of the poem overall.
3. Keep up the wonderful writing!
Sincerely,
Brae
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Please consult the following codes regarding my review of your item.
All errors that should be fixed (punctuation, grammar etc.) will be in Red All suggestions pertaining to the item (title, rating, description, body, etc.) will be in Orange Snip-its from your item will be in Green All of my compliments to you will be in Pink Any additional information I want to share with you will be in Blue
There were only a few errors in your poem, all of them being punctuation- which is one of the more typical types of error I see.- End punctuation errors are extremely easy to fix and normally just require the consideration of "What goes here best?" For more information you should visit the following site: http://www.uottawa.ca/academic/arts/writcent/hyper...
It includes a great deal of information on how to use the semicolon in writing. I think this might be helpful.
I have the suggestion that you work out your punctuation usage. The wording is a little bit odd in a couple places. It reads as though there are a few missing words, especially in the following lines:
Fairest maiden;
Under all above;
I am not quite sure that a fair maiden would be under everyone else in ranking.
Of all your beauty, the finest part;
Fairest maiden;
Flawless heart;
I think here you should have "is your flawless heart". Adding just those few words can make your poem easier to understand,and it still flows well.
I think that the rating is a little bit extreme. There was no profanity, sexually related terms, actions, or implications. A better rating (if you are still unsure that it is of "E" content) would be 13+
I enjoyed learning the hidden message in the ballad. I find that the simple words and structure of your poem are very refreshing compared to poems that are wordy and do not retain the original message the author wished to convey. You did very well with this!
Thank you for sharing your work with the WDC community. I look forward to reading more from you in the future!
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Title/ description: appropriate
& 
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& 
One alternate way to write it: 
All errors that should be fixed (punctuation, grammar etc.) will be in