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Review of Horus: Prologue  
Review by ellesbelles
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
A very interesting prologue, I must say. No major flaws that I noticed. It's gripping and intriguing - the sort of prologue that will make you want to read on. A nice use of language, and the sense of mystery is good, too. I like the way the reader can get a sense of the characters through their actions without actually being told directly - for instance, I take it the wolf-headed man is the leader of this group. There are only two minor things that bother me a little about this. Firstly, you simply tell the reader - quite near the beginning, too - about the appearance of the figures. Perhaps you make it a little less clear? You know, let the reader guess for themselves. It would add to the sense of mystery, as if the whole event was observed by a mere onlooker than someone right in the heart of the action. Secondly, the majority of this prologue is action - he did this, she did that - which is perhaps a little /too/ blunt for the mood you've set. "Instantly all was confusion" you write, and yet you describe the fight in clear, precise detail. Show the confusion in your tone and language. Other than those little points, it really was a wonderful prologue. I look forward to reading the rest of your novel.
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