Elizabeth White's (elwhite) Reviews

Elizabeth White

Review Requests: OFF

11 Public Reviews Given

16 Total Reviews Given

1

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#2572809

Review of Sardine Sandwiches and Whales

Review by Elizabeth White

Rated: E

| (4.5)

This instructional piece was marvellous, would like to have seen perhaps some dot points to delineate information from opinion, but hey what the hell would I know. The most important part was your all in encouragement to write and write with originality. I applaud you tHinG

2

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#2556929

Review of Skin Deep

Review by Elizabeth White

Rated: E

| (3.5)

oooh!! I'm scared of this woman already. I think using some colour in this poem might give her a little more horror. I find it so hard to review poetry because what you're expressing here is such a personal experience of another person. However, I think she could be made more sinister with the coulour of her hair and eyes etc. with some juxtaposed adjectives.

3

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#2556831

Review of On My Hands

Review by Elizabeth White

Rated: 18+

| (4.5)

Terrific. You kept it moving so well. The use of colloqualisms was effective. She's very sophisiticated for a ten year old but then I'm guessing a ten year carnie has to be that way to survive. I really liked the way there was tension building in the story from the very beginning. It flowed so well

4

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#2547287

Review of Death of an Inner Critic

Review by Elizabeth White

Rated: ASR

| (3.5)

How easily you defined one of the many voices that reads over a writer's shoulder and niggles away at us as we create. I was surprised that he didn't snigger or snort in derision; I know mine does. I would have expected a little more vitriol from an inner critic that's all - not really a criticism - just a comment.

5

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#2541226

Review of 30 Years

Review by Elizabeth White

Rated: 18+

| (3.5)

Perhaps a little uncomfortable at the start but progressing beautifully to its conclusion. No need for characterisation; the swirl of emotions was enough for me to build the characters in my own head.I thought the paragraph in the hardware store was a little awkward, difficult to describe but it didn't quite flow as well as the remainder of the story. Marvellous overall.

6

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#2541204

Review of Bacon

Review by Elizabeth White

Rated: E

| (3.0)

I am a lover of bacon so you touched a nerve here. Nicely imaginative. I would like to have seen a little more character development of Bob and Bill. Loads of action which made me want to keep reading to the very end. There is definitely a sense of humour here but I think you need to express it a little more overtly. A very entertaining piece.