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Review by C.G Duncan
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hello, Gervic!

Upon reading your short story, it seemed like a very real, very lucky situation on your part! I'm curious as to what happens next in this new relationship or possible fling. I am also glad you were able to find someone to bring excitement into your life during the 'stopping of time' Covid Shutdown. You definitely had something more interesting and fun happen to you compared to my boring experience! As for feedback on your writing, I did notice a couple grammatical errors - mostly in the opening. You seemed to open a sentence with 'it' and 'this' ending in abrupt sentences that I think could have been carried on in a less sudden end. Example being from the first paragraph:

"It was one time when an ad popped up on Gill's screen. It was about a dating app advertisement intended for some men or curious men interested in other men. Simply put, it's a gay dating app. He opened it, downloaded and installed the application. Then the story begins."

I am by no means educated beyond some college level courses, and my own writing/reading experiences so please don't take this as professional editing instructions. If I were to write this particular part, I would probably go with something more alone the lines of this:

"There came a moment during his browsing that an ad caught his attention. It was for a dating app intended for men interested in other men - a gay dating app, to put it bluntly. Curiosity won out and soon enough the app was downloaded. With the press of a button, the story began."

Of course there are different writing styles! And of course this is all just from a single perspective, but I do think that I as the reader would have been pulled in more if it was written in a more open, flowy way. Amazing job and keep up the great work!
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