I think that firstly, the story should be at least fifteen plus, not thirteen plus lol. It's very dark, and explores a side of the human nature that isn't often seen. I really like how the whole thing builds up to a climax, and it ends suddenly. It's really great, keep writing!
I think the story is very well written, and a brilliant read. The ending is fantastic, and the climax is fast but sufficient. All in all, it's absolutely stunning work. Quality writing, no obvious errors, I love the story! I'd definitely recommend this to a friend.
This is a really encouraging and honest piece. I think it can really start to show everyone the possibilities and possible career paths they can start on. The writing is decent quality, although there are some punctuation errors. I really honestly like it.
To start, capitalization. The first word of a sentence should be capped, so should "I" and "I'm". I'm not certain of the message. In a literal sense, that's not why babies cry. It's a very short story, not long enough to even clearly convey the mixed message.
It's a really good fictional story, I love the ending and Towler's idea to get the protagonist out of trouble. I think the writing style is really good, and it's a nice complete story. I think the message is one that isn't spread enough, and it was an interesting read.
It's a really inspirational poem, and it's a nice length. I think it gets the point across, and it's well written. The rhyming schemes work well, and the three stanza's are very powerful. I really hope it got first, second, or third. Best of luck to you in any other competitions!
It's a very nice poem, and it tells the spirit of Saint Nick. Although it's relatively short, it's very nice, and I'd recommend it to a friend. It's formatted nicely, and it's not bad at all. I think it's one of the better poems I've seen on this site.
It's a poem that is written to perfection, and touches your heart when you read it. It tells of everything everyone gave, and everything yet to be given. I really love it, and would read more works by Jay O'Toole. It was also written in 2015 so nice job!
I really like this short story, it's funny and a decent length. I think you could be a bit more descriptive, but it's very good, and I think you deserve positive feedback. That being said, I think you could have changed the way the woman reacted a bit, but it's still a good laugh.
I think it's a pretty funny short story, I think the twist at the end is also hilarious, it could be longer, but it's long enough to get the plot and point across, so it's fine. The main character's point of view throughout the entire story is really well written, and the grammar is good.
I like it, and it's a good story, but it doesn't provide enough information to what's going on. I think you could elaborate more on who the main character is and who his daughter is. It's a good start to a novel, but the other chapters would have some explaining to do.
It's ok, but I think it needs to be slightly more specific. At some points in the story, I was lost, and there isn't enough background. I like the idea, and the writing is of decent quality. All in all, it's a good start, but it needs to be longer and more in-depth. I assume it will have more chapters, but even if it does it needs some fixing.
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