Hi,
PureSciFiPlus
Greetings! I'm
Samberine Everose and one of the judges in the
and I'm here to give you a review in your entry.
Thanks for entering in the contest.
Please note that I am not a professional reviewer, anything I say here is just my humble own opinion and views, don't forget that this will be changed by others perspective also. Take it if you like and drop if you don't like.
MY THOUGHT & IMPRESSION:
The given title is interesting, it gives an impression about a fine day and romance.
I liked how you hooked your reader by using an interesting 'conflict the hold's your reader(me) to continue reading the story until the end.
It's good that the conflict that were used(the sickness of Tina) that were not being mentioned in detail leaves a mystery to your audience until the end.
I liked the 'focus that you've reflected, It is a romance story but its not focused in there which moderates the mushy touch of romance story sometimes, it's good that it were blended by Tina's mystery disease.
I also liked the range of language that you used, anyone can read and understand it, indeed it is for everybody. Well done!
MY DOUBT & SUGGESTION:
I didn't find any word that can distract the flow of the story, my only doubt is the use of name..
Mitch is a feminine name short for Mitchie or Michelle, you might like to change the name to a more masculine name like Rick or Rich, other than that, I have no doubts arise. Good luck!
Thank you for your participation in the contest.
I hope to see and read more of your works again!
Just keep On smiling while stay in WRITING!