Hi hh93   Welcome to Writing.Com!  I see you are new here. I hope you enjoy your stay and find this site as creative, helpful and inspiring as I have.
 After reading "My last memories"  , I have these comments to offer: This is a heart-wrenching story about a young man called Adam who is diagnosed with brain cancer. With such a short life expectancy, his world is turned upside down, and he struggles to cope with the pain, and with the guilt of what he is causing his parents to feel. Then at the hospital he meets a little girl called Linda, who makes him promise that he will never cry again. After talking with her he learns to face each day and actually live it, regardless of whether or not there is a tomorrow.
The story is heartwarming and sweet, and I love it how Adam pursues his dream in the end. It ends with hope not just for the future but for today, reminding me how easily we take each day, each opportunity, each painless moment for granted.
There are a lot of grammar and punctuation mistakes that need working over. The narrative was difficult to read, as it constantly switches between past and present tense, and words are used incorrectly as well.
To help you straighten out some of the grammar errors, I have highlighted them below and offer my suggestions with them:
Here I am sitting again in this dark and cold room on this bed, which will be either a way to my survive, or my last stations in this life , my mother is sitting on a chair next to me, pain and grief, shove her, yes, I can see her tears hidden down her cheeks show off her ordered mask , which is taking shape on her face while she's looking at me.  This needs to be broken up into several sentences to make sense, and for ease of reading. Try something like this: Here I am again, sitting in this dark and cold room on this bed, which will either be a way to survive, or my last station in life. My mother is sitting on a chair next to me. Pain and grief shove her. Yes, I can see tears sliding down her cheeks, off her mask, which is taking shape on her face while she looks at me. Remember, you have started the story in present tense (i.e. I am here now, not I was there then), so make sure you keep to it.
My name is (Adam) .I am nineteen years old . Remove the brackets. They don't make sense. Also, remove the spaces before periods. I notice that this is a reoccurring problem in the text – spaces before punctuation, especially commas and periods. Punctuation should always follow the word directly, i.e. the comma is placed here, not here ,
At that moment I could not control myself and I said: What is my patients ? "patients" is the wrong word. A patient is someone who comes to see the doctor. Perhaps you mean "problem"? Place quotation marks at the beginning and end of sentences that are spoken, i.e. At that moment I could not control myself, and I said: "What is my problem?"
At that moment, I was no longer hear what he says... Oops, misuse of "was" and "hear". Also, "says" should be past tense. The sentence should read: At that moment, I no longer heard what he said.
Beauty does not disappear behind her disease or behind the fall of her entire hair. "her entire hair" is an incorrect phrase. I am not sure what you are trying to say here. Perhaps "all her hair"?
I could see the glitter of hope when I looked into her big and brigtness eyes "brigtness" should be "bright". Also, place a period at the end of this sentence. Same goes for the next sentence.
For long time I have wished to have a brother or sister. And now, I had become having the best sister. Should be: For a long time I have wished to have a brother or sister. And now I have the best sister.
Every day I was sitting with her in the corridor of the hospital . she was telling me a pretty childish stories "was sitting" and "was telling" should simply be "sat" and "told". Again, remove the space before the period. Capitalize "she", since it is the start of a new sentence, and place a period at the close of the sentence.
Yes, she has returned me my real life. "me my" doesn't work. It should be "me to my" or simply "me".
I decided to fulfill my dream I called a friend of mine that his father was working in military aviation pilot. asked him to take me to fly in the helicopter with his father and he did not refused my request. The next day i was ready to achieve my dream. my mother was afraid of this trip I said to her: my dear mom my disease has stolen everything from me but I will never let him stop me to achieve my dream . Grammar tips:
 Place period after "dream".
"that his" should be "whose".
"was working in" should be "worked as a".
replace the period after "pilot" with a comma, and insert "and".
"i" should be "I" (when referring to oneself, "I" should always be capitalized. Watch out – this is also a reoccurring error in your grammar.).
"my mother" should be "My mother".
place comma and "but" after "trip".
Place quotation marks before and after spoken sentence, and capitalise "my" and "mom". Use commas to clean up the sentence: "My dear Mom, the disease has stolen everything from me, but I will never let it stop me from achieving my dream."
This moment was the happiest moment in my life, I felt that I resisted satisfactory I felt that life cropped up in my body again. Replace comma after "my life" with period. "satisfactory" should be "satisfactorily", and place comma afterwards. A better word could be used instead of "cropped", since it refers to cutting something down, whereas you want to show that life "sprung", "grew" or "renewed itself" inside you.
More description would bring the story to life. The details of Adam's feelings are deep and vivid, but the more external things could use a bit of work, such as the doctor, the hospital visit, the people in the waiting room, and the little girl.
The narrative has a very non-fiction, making the story realistic. Your voice is casual, as if retelling something that has happened to you. It's a nice style.
A beautiful ending.  The closing sentence is exciting and satisfying, reminding me how important it is to appreciate each day as it comes. Thank you for sharing this encouraging story about life and hope. I have enjoyed reading and reviewing it, and I hope you find my comments useful. Keep up the great work!
 Fi
 WRITE ON!
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Very interesting, and philosophical, with a challenging and new perspective. I can see that you have thought this out carefully, and I have very much enjoyed reading and thinking over your poem. I hope you find my feedback useful and encouraging.
Trick or Treat! 
This review comes on behalf of your Haunter at "
I hope you enjoy exploring the site, reading the fantastic works uploaded and meeting some of the talented people around here.
) and write as if you are comfortable working within its restrictions (or guidelines, however you choose to view them).
What an incredibly touching poem. The flow of thought and emotion is deep and stirring, your rhymes are perfect, your rhythm pulses and vibrates through me. Every line is a treasure. Your imagery is vivid and descriptive, and I like it how you use different elements such as light and dark, fire and water to symbolize the hurt that you have experienced, and the determination to heal and regain strength of heart and mind. There is also a rich use of the senses of sight, touch and hearing, which broaden the overall description and made me actually feel what you are expressing! 
Keep up the great work. 
Crushed me.
