*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/freenuance
Review Requests: OFF
4 Public Reviews Given
4 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of June 13--Wheat  
Review by NicheNuance
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
This was a nice peaceful slice of life, very easy and flowing to read. For some reason it reminded me of the narration style in Forrest Gump, but maybe I just have that on the mind.

"I imagined the men working and the women cooking to feed them." Well that's a little sexist! But of course it helps set the scene and the times

I really like the imagery here: "A dusty-sweet smell mingling the dry air with the grain tickled my nose." but I think the sentence is a little clunky.

"would rive my mom crazy" *drive

I liked the flow for all of the story, nice and even, expect maybe the ending which seemed a little abrupt.

I got a bit confused with the timing at the ending. How old was she when the farm was abandoned? And did she ask those questions about the harvest before or after? Did her parents stay with the farm when the grandparents abandoned it (hence the work being dumped on them?), or was it entirely abandoned and the dumped work refers to in earlier years? And does that mean her dad left every season to work on the harvest while she stayed behind? Lots of things to mull over, as it should be with flash fiction.

I liked the final couple sentences, it invites the reader to think a bit deeper about the mature issues there, while the narrator is clearly still a bit innocent and optimistic. It was a nice read *Smile*

~Niche



1 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 1 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/freenuance