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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/funny_username
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3 Public Reviews Given
4 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of Silent Rain  
Review by funny_username
Rated: E | (4.5)
Rather dark and angsty. Very depressing. I like it! Was that what you wee aiming for?
The onomatopoeia was good. Drip, drip. But what exactly is dripping?
<i>It is the endless flow of my soul pouring out of me, drowning me in my despair. </i>
I did not understand that part.
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Review of Double Trouble  
Review by funny_username
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is a very nice and sweet poem but You could do a bit better.
<i>Soon to be trouble found.</i>
I didn't really understand this so you need to be careful about you inversions and all the other figures of speech that you are using.
Also, you are avoiding words like 'I' and 'and' and I suggest that you don't. I know it will spoil the meter but that is not a big issue. Your writing style is really similar to mine so I know it can be a pain to keep the ideas flowing and the words rhyming.
Good luck!
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