That is really good in truth, it flows very well and keeps your interest high.
There is one huge problem I noticed, what the hell happend to the pirods?
You didn't put any in your stoy yet you cap many of the first letter like it's a new sentince.
If you can clear this up then the story will be near perfect.
till next time, keep writing! - Josh
That is verry pretty.
I'm not really a person for poems, but that flowed smothly and makes you re-read it because how sweet it is.
There was no gramer errors I saw and the only reson why I didn't give it a higher ratting is because, (Like I said.) Am not one for poetry.
Ether way good job, and keep writing! -Josh
It's seems interessting enough for a part two but my biggest qustien is what the hell does your story have to do with Donnie Darko?
Ether way beside that the story has a good enough flow to it and besides one or two small typeos the rest of the story is writen perfectly.
I really wish you had made the plot a little bit more clear. I mean you start out with Donnie Darko chasing someone and thinking that they have been knifed, and ending it with Art being on Donita? Or is it Marisa? you didn't make that clear.
I may have the worng idea about the charecter "Donnie Darko" But there is a movie out by that name where a guy has to stop the world from coming to a end, so thats what I'm thinking of when I see the name.
Ether way interesting story over all tweak it a bit more and it will be quite fine.
I am interested enough for a Part Two, so E-Mail me back when you make it. That is if you do.
Till next time. - Josh
very good a nice short Gotic poam. there are no gramer mistakes what so ever. the only reson for you not geting five stars is for me atlest was because it was too short lived. anyways good job.
Hello Tyler. Your story is somthing else, strange yet something everyone knows. There is some things I want to point out, there are very few gramer mistakes but in one part you wrote "Herd" when what was needed was "Heard". The story is good but Nick needs some work, we don't know what started this vandeta against the Screamers, Demons, etc, on top of that there is know hint of what Nick looks like. (just taking a gess here but it's you and Tanner?) overall though the story is good, and tell me when you write part two. Till then see ya later! -Josh
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