*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/geraghtyl0
Review Requests: OFF
3 Public Reviews Given
3 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of The Cheshire Cat  
Review by Liam
Rated: E | (4.5)
This paper, I believe, sums up the goodness in humans. All signs pointed toward a negative day, and a negative life for that matter, but that does not succumb the boy to a bad day. Instead he chooses to go on about his day with joy. The subtleness of this joy is really beautiful. No where in the paper did you simply say he was happy, even though the conditions were bad. Instead, you made the reader understand it from an outsiders perspective, being the cat.

This is a great story, and reminds me to make the best of a bad situation.

I hate when I can't come up with a negative thing to change, but this was well put together. I enjoyed reading it. I especially like how you showed he was happy through this all. I was expecting a twist, or a reason for this happiness, but in the end he was just happy for almost no good reason.

I thoroughly enjoyed this!
2
2
Review by Liam
Rated: E | (4.0)
Wow, beautiful story. I especially like the name choice! (My name is also Liam) But seriously, your use of symbolism with the flowers and what they meant to Liam was exquisite. The turn you took, which seemed like a dreadful thing to happen, was surprising and was a great cap off to how Liam was feeling that day and good way to get him to move on from this job he could not seem to leave.

Maybe at the end, in regard to the woman sitting next to him, you could specify a little more on who it might be. For example, I guessed it might be the woman looking for petunias (I don't know if that is what you intended), but possibly you could reference her holding petunias in her hand, that way the reader is allowed some degree of knowledge of where he might end up.

That being said, I did like that the ending allowed for the reader to imagine the possibilities. Liam is at a point where he can really live how he would like too, and the woman next to him could have something to do with the rest of his life.

Grammar and punctuation seemed to all be in order. And your use of description really gave this story some life to it.

Hope this helps!
2 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 1 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/geraghtyl0