My dog is also my saving grace. Most days, taking him outside is the only reason I get up. And I surely wouldn't go to work if I didn't have to get up to let him out. Mine was also a rescue. He was a stray and I'm not sure if he ever had another owner. I DO know that someone or multiple someones had to have abused him. If you raise your voice or hand and he THINKS it's directed at him, he crouches down in fear and it breaks my heart. But otherwise, he loves everyone and will jump on anyone who gets close enough for pets and kisses. It helps because it forces me to talk to people (mostly to apologize) and get out of the house for a few minutes. He also has a LOT of energy so I take him on long walks at LEAST once a week, which, again, gets me out of the house and it forces me to get some exercise. He has separation anxiety so if I don't pay attention to him long enough he walks over and forces his way into my lap. Although highly annoying, it also usually makes me laugh, even on my worst days. He also has a bad habit of stealing any food you leave in his reach. And he's quick too. I remember one day I went to the laundry building in my complex and I came back to an empty plate that USED to have part of a baked potato on it. I had a moment where I thought maybe I had finished it and forgotten, and he was sitting in his bed like nothing happened, giving me a look like "yeah mom, you ate it before you left. I definitely didn't eat it." He gives me something to live for and get up for and come home to and most of all be happy about and laugh at. I don't know what I'd do without him.
I saw this in one of the newsletters, and as soon as I saw "bipolar", I knew I had to read it. I've been struggling with depression for years and didn't know it up until a little over a year ago. I went to the doctor on campus (I was in college then, but eventually dropped out) and couldn't even get the words 'I need to talk to someone about being depressed' before I started crying. They put me on Prozac first which just turned me into an uncaring zombie. Like literally I didn't care about anything. I've never admitted this to anyone except the one person who was there, but I even took the battery out of my phone so my work couldn't call me the next morning because I just didn't want to go. After deciding Prozac wasn't right for me, they switched me to Zoloft (I think. The generic is Sertraline...that much I know). It works sometimes and the side effects aren't too bad. But then I quit school because I never went to class anyway because I just didn't have the motivation to go. Once I quit school, I couldn't go back to the student health center and eventually ran out of refills. I can't afford a normal doctor, so I'm saving the few pills I have left for REALLY bad days. I know it doesn't exactly work like that and the side effects of not taking the meds and then taking a pill here and there are much worse than building up to it like you're supposed to, but I guess I get a little bit of a placebo effect from it amidst the horrible headaches and overwhelming nausea. When I first thought I might have depression I also looked into similar disorders and found manic depression. I honestly think I might be on the verge of manic depression if that makes sense. I have milder versions of most of the symptoms I've found and I KNOW I have depression. The last time I took my medicine out of the blue (for depression) I feel like it flipped me right into mania. I was in an excessively good mood and couldn't stop talking or bouncing around. A few days later, every little thing pissed me off to the point of rage. I guess what I'm getting at is, I understand the struggle (not exactly of course, but I have a similar struggle), I'm glad I read this, and I was wondering when and how you knew you were bipolar? What was the process? How did doctors figure it out? Etc. You don't have to go into it all if you don't want to of course, I was just curious.
I liked it. I'm guessing she either died from sniffing the paint or she killed herself? Either way, it was a good read and well written. There is one thing I would fix. You should consider using em dashes (I honestly just learned it had a name and that there is such a thing as an en dash as well) instead of regular dashes. The em dash is longer and it helps distinguish between combining two words (e.g. "tip-toes") and putting a break or aside in a sentence (e.g. "This will be her masterpiece-the vessel for her dreams"). Some programs will automatically correct two dashes to an em dash if there is a word in front of and behind it with no spaces.
I liked it. I would definitely read more about her and this world. I'm currently going through your profile so if there IS more I just haven't found it yet (crappy internet connection at work). I realize you probably had a word limit and couldn't fit it in, but I would love to know more about her background and the world in general. I don't know about you, but I'm a perfectionist when it comes to world building so I know EVERY little detail. Obviously that's not practical in a book/story, but I would like to read more about the different races (or species?). I also want to know how she ended up married to the king. He seems like a lovely person. *she says, voice dripping with sarcasm* And how did she get away from him to begin with? And why didn't she take her brother?! Also, although I like the title, it doesn't really fit since she escaped before the story started. Just a thought. How do you pronounce her name? I went with knee-ess-uh in my head, which is pretty, but I also thought about nigh-ess-uh, which is also pretty. Just curious. Sorry. I ramble. Anyway. Liked it. Want more. :)
Yes, definitely write more! I like it and I'm interested in seeing where you take it. The amethyst eyes make me think something supernatural is going on. I also want to know why he was in such a hurry. I'm thinking something like running from people experimenting on him or something like that (hence the eyes). :)
Oh. My. God. That ending was perfect. I actually laughed. Probably not the appropriate response, but I'm weird like that. Aaaand now I'm afraid to drink my coffee. Thanks for that. Seriously though, good job. I really like it.
In the first one, I thought she sounded young. I actually pictured her as much younger than 14 until he kissed her. I hoped she was just a naive 16 year old. Upon reading this, I got a little worried when I found out her age. I have two younger sisters, an 17 year old and a 13 year old. Of the two, the 13 year old is more...worldly. Either way, if I found out a guy was making out and taking advantage of (I assume that is where you are going with this?) either of my little sisters, I'd have to kill him. I don't mean to sound rude or anything, if that is not the way you are going with this story (him taking advantage and hopefully getting what's coming to him). I'm just letting you know how it made me feel. I will definitely continue reading the series in the hopes that he meets a very horrible end.
I liked it. It kinda speaks to me. I wasn't in foster care or anything, but I suffer from depression. Everyone gets those feelings of being alone and unloved and all of the crap sometimes. Her first poem made me laugh, and the second was amazing. I also like the name Shaylee. I have a thing for weird or different names.
Ha! A-pork-alypse. I love corny jokes. I was going to say you need to finish it, but after the last line, I'm guessing you have no intention of doing that which is fine. I still got a laugh out of it. :)
I hope you don't take me offensively because I do not mean to offend in any way. While I was reading your story, I suspected English was not your native tongue. Upon looking at your portfolio, my suspicions were confirmed. There are minor errors throughout your story that make this obvious. Little things (mixing up words, typos, improper usage of 'the', and frequent tense changes) that could easily be fixed with some help from an editor. I am half Puerto Rican and since my mother doesn't speak a word of Spanish, I had to learn it in school. I know what it is like having two languages in your head and I applaud the fact you are writing in what is a second language to you. It will be a very long time before I start writing stories in Spanish. Again, I hope you don't take me as being mean, I was just hoping to give a few suggestions for improvement. For someone who speaks English as a second language you did a GREAT job. I loved the story and I eagerly await more. Although I am not an expert on the subject, I feel you did rather well conveying the mannerisms and customs of those in the Scottish Highlands of 1840. I don't know how well it would do with a historian, but to the untrained eye it seemed legit. Again, I don't wish to offend or be rude or anything like that because I really did like the story and I would love to read more.
I totally called the vampire thing, because it was pretty obvious (to me at least). I don't know if that is what you were going for or not. The werewolves, however, I did not predict. That one caught me off guard, and I liked it. Good job. The writing and grammar and all was good as well.
Ha! I love it when arrogant (in an attempt to stay PG I'll go with: ) people get what's coming to them. At "It seems you have walked into a daycare center for toddlers and small children" I literally laughed out loud. I like your description of the Pern, although upon first seeing the word I was expecting an Anne McCaffrey FanFiction. Good job. It made me laugh and it was very well written.
Wow! That was hilarious. I'm allergic to cats, so I'm more of a dog person. And dogs, thank God, can be trained (cats can as well but it's not the same). My favorite part was "swearing in feline". I used to work for a vet as a kennel person so I know how that is. I also know that smell, but, thankfully, it has been a few years, so the smell doesn't immediately assail my nose/imagination. My dog likes to try to get into my lap while I'm driving, so I couldn't even imagine six of him running around my car. The last line was perfect. Overall, I liked it and it was very well written.
The story was really good. Pretty well written and the end was adorable. It made me smile and think of my little sisters. There were two things I noticed that could use improvement (I don't mean that in a mean or "I'm better than you" way).
"Their goal was to wear their enemies down while picking away at them, slowly but surely though their numbers were falling." This was very confusing to me. I didn't know who the different "their"s referred to.
"You've helped more of the townsfolk over the years than I can count the people care more than you realize." This just needs a period after "count". It took me a second to figure out what you were trying to say.
Otherwise, it was really well written. I'm a big fan of hyenas so I wasn't too happy about their portrayal in this, but you stuck to the creature (gnoll) and how it is usually portrayed and I respect that. It makes me mad when people change stuff like that. Making it your own is fine, making vampires sparkle? No. Enough rambling, though. I like it. Good job.
That was really good. A few typos, but otherwise really well written. It creeped me out too so good job. Now I'm afraid to go straighten my hair, because if my reflection moves of its own free will, I'm just gonna drop dead on the spot. So thanks for that. :)
I liked the idea behind this story. There were some grammatical errors, like using where instead of were, but overall it was pretty well written. It got a little confusing at times, but a few well placed commas would fix that. You also changed tenses a couple of times (something I do often as well). Personally, I found some of this a little hard to believe. If I understand correctly, the killed thirty two people in one night? And none of them had a chance to scream or run? If the women were that good, how did they end up in jail to begin with? Also you state their intentions as just wanting the money in the middle of the story and it seems a spur of the moment plan. At the end, however, you say ot was retirbution, which would've been long thought out. I hope you don't take me the wrong way because I truely am not trying to be rude or mean (I come off that way unintentionally sometimes) and I did like the idea behind the story.
It was a little confusing to keep track of who was talking. I realize you were limited on words but maybe bolding or italicizing one person would help? I had to go back and reread while saying 'Bob, not Bob, Bob...'. It could've just been me of course. I tend to be easily distracted. Other than that, it was really good. I liked it. :)
Obviously not very realistic, but it's extremely cute. I didn't see any glaringly obvious grammar mistakes, but I wasn't really looking for them. I like how you did the dads in bold and how the cop and his son were both in italics so everything matched. It was easy to tell who was who. You did well with the kids too. They remind me of my sisters when they were younger (and sometimes now). Overall, I liked it.
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