Awww. Cute, and yet a rather sad story, but strangely not so sad. Yup, I would say it's not a fan fiction. Any reason why the letters are so big? Good read, haven't read anything relevant to Petter Rabbit in my whole life, just watched the shows. So, this was the first, and I'm glad to have read it.
Truly great read :), I've been searching for a story like this for ages. But writing.com's search bar can go with some...specific improvements. Anyways, very reminiscent of Redwall. With the slave hero thing, and constructing something, dimwit vermin, reminds me of Martin the Warrior. I have a story just like it, only with a couple more, different elements not native to Redwall Canon. Look forward to reading more, if indeed you have more. Love the description and emotion that went into this. My on critique is...
were should be weren't shouldn't it XD? Shame that they would be punished for working hard.
nater was lucky that Ivan was that he was chained (yeah, I think you see the error there.
I notice there were a couple of Ivan this, Ivan that, after we established it was Ivan doing the action. Instead of saying, Ivan... you could simply use he, or tell the action first and follow it by the mouse.
So that's all the critique I have :). Wonderful story, anxious to read more.
Whooo, very captivating :D. The description is beyond beautiful, certainly in league with many great poets. The structure and rhyme scheme, so simple, yet delightful and effective. A delightful read indeed, sad though that now that I'm finished I yearn for more XD. Loved how you described the fox's features; especially her eyes.
This is very deep, very controversial, but I don't want to get into any type of debate. Though I feel the icon is inappropriate, hey, it's a creative website and the internet. Guess what I can say was nice was the structure of the poem, er, or whatever this was.
Wow, truly epic piece of work here. Such wonderful emotion, and captivating story telling. I've seen this a couple of times, and now should slap myself for not reading it earlier XD. Very nice, I've got to finish reading this ;).
Awww, like this story :D, it's so cute and thoughtful; and true the things said in here ;). I'm a born again Christian, and though religion never did make me happy (used to be Catholic), my relationship with my lord and savior Jesus Christ has. Nice to read even with all of D'rat's fame and fortune, he didn't truly need any of it to be happy :). Though, I'm jealous with how quickly it seemed for him to be successful *rofl*
Relatively interesting story. You should place most of the dialog in separate paragraphs, especially when it's two different characters. Some misspellings scattered about make the character dialog awkward. The sudden transition from Samperta to Redwall I feel isn't right. There should be a chapter of one, then go on to the other. It's an awkward transition, since you got me first interested in Ella. Why didn't the Friar think it strange for the dibbun to be caring a haver sack? From what I know, Redwall cannon always have the friars dutiful to their jobs, and don't really abide anyone getting snacks before mealtime; only when they allow it. I wouldn't call the Dibbun intelligent considering what he's doing, like getting the sharpest knife he could find. And where's everyone else in the abbey? From everywhere Cameo is going it sounds like it's empty. And Prairie Dogs aren't in Redwall Cannon, but that's irrelevant.
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