*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/hair.the
Review Requests: OFF
6 Public Reviews Given
7 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of I WALK ALONE  
Review by RileyW
Rated: E | (3.0)
It's really hard to give a critical review to such an emotional piece, so I really hope I do not offend you in any way. This is a review of your work, not your character.

You do a great job of showing your emotion through symbolism and metaphor. The pain here is obvious, and it's very hard to read the poem without feeling a tug at the heart.

That said, the poem lacks originality. I realize that you are an individual with unique feelings and emotions... but the poem does not reflect this. Cliches such as tears being compared to raindrops and the subject being in "God's loving arms" are used too frequently in poetry that they do your poem no good.

I'm also confused as to why you used such simple words (not a bad thing, of course), except for one line, in which you write "A heart enveloped with bereavement". This disrupts the rhymthm of the poem, unfortunately.

Again, I hope I have not offended you in any way. The pain is shown here clearly, and I'm sure that if the poem were made to be a bit more original, you'd have a truly heartbreaking piece on the site.
1 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 1 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/hair.the