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126
126
Review of Breaking Point  
Review by NickiD89
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
** Image ID #1458790 Unavailable **


Hi Spidey! In the spirit of writers helping each other hone their craft, I offer the following comments for "Breaking Point.

[The comments following red check marks are based on my observations and opinions. Please use only what you find helpful and disregard the rest *Smile*.]


*Flower4* Initial Reaction: What a heartbreaking story about grief, guilt and despair.


*Exclaim* What I liked:

*Thumbsup* The opening was clever, and I went back and read the italicized introduction again once I knew who the speaker was. The effect was haunting.

*Thumbsup* Your descriptive voice was outstanding in this story. I could see the ward, hear the voices, smell the fire. This passage was a descriptive gem: From time to time, words from the outside world tumbled into her chaotic mind. Tonight, “you lost him,” fell into her consciousness, slipping through the air like Autumn’s first falling leaf.

*Thumbsup* Abby and Beth were vivid characters thanks to strong characterization. You did a great job showing Abby in the physical world (LOVED her dialogue!), and Beth in the world of her internal hell. It was the paragraphs when Beth became more lucid, when her memories and feelings broke through, that I was most affected by the writing. You really made Beth's story real for me.


*Idea* Suggestions: None -- this was fantastic! *Smile*


*Question* Grammar/Spelling Oops: Great job self-editing. I only noticed two oopses:

The rest of the group were gathering in the meeting room. -- *Right* The rest...was gathering

The fateful night she fall back into her old ways. -- fall should be fell


*Star* This was a hard prompt, I think. But you did a great job with it, and the end result is this stunning, tragic story. Best of luck in the contest!




*Flower3* Nicki

Sig by KiyaSama I use when reviewing
Most Helpful Review Ribbon won in July 2009

127
127
Review by NickiD89
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Image ID #1458790 Unavailable **


Hello Fyn! Thanks so much for participating in "Merit Badge Bonanza!. I had already reviewed "Tomorrow's Child, so I began reading the other offerings in the Blotter for the Newly Inked and found this gem. After reading your poem "The Frog and the Bucket, I offer you this humble review.



*Note1* Emotional Impact: I LOVED this poem! The lesson in the last stanza was such a clever twist and one I didn't see coming. I was enjoying the poem so much, and pictured Phineas' predicament so completely, that it didn't occur to me that his efforts could yield the end result they did. You took the "when life hands you lemons" adage and put such a wonderful, fresh spin on it, that it seemed invented for the first time. Bravo!


*Note4* Effectiveness of Form:

*Thumbsup* The rhythm of this poem is fantastic and allows each line to roll effortlessly off the tongue. The rhyme scheme added to the rhythmic flow.

*Thumbsup* I loved all the ways you described Phineas swimming. The synonyms really added color to the story.

*Thumbsup* The onomatopoeia in this line worked really well! landed, plop in a bucket

*Check4* I loved Phineas T Frog's name, and I would have liked to know it earlier in the story. Knowing he had a full name, including a middle initial, tells the reader about him and clues him in that Phineas is not your average frog. I played around with reading the first line inserting his full name in place of "The frog," but the extra syllables disrupted the flow. I thought I'd mention the idea just the same. *Smile*



*Note3* Punctuation/Spelling:

*Thumbsup* The punctuation and capitalization helped guide me across intentional pauses and separation of thoughts.

*Check4* There were two questions posed in the last stanza that may work better with question marks:
So what is the point
of my story you cry,
Did he ever get out
or give up and die.




*Star* Lasting Impressions: I hope you pursue publication for this gem of a poem -- I know a wide readership will enjoy it as much as I did! Thanks for sharing it with me!



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Most Helpful Review Ribbon won in July 2009



128
128
Review by NickiD89
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
** Image ID #1458790 Unavailable **


Hi MandiK! In the spirit of writers helping each other hone their craft, I offer the following comments for "The Rescue- Part 1.

[The comments following red check marks are based on my observations and opinions. Please use only what you find helpful and disregard the rest *Smile*.]


*Flower4* Initial Reaction: What a warm, slice-of-life story about a close-knit family with a big heart.


*Exclaim* What I liked: I could relate to all the characters in this wonderful story. My children are the same ages of the kids in the story, and we all crusade for the health and harmony of any critter that wanders into our lives. I thought you told the story with a strong narrative voice that I found engaging. I enjoyed the humorous asides that gave me extra insight into your perspective. Overall, a very entertaining read.


*Idea* Suggestions:

*Check2* I noticed some of this story is double spaced between paragraphs, and sometimes it's single spaced. To increase readability, I suggest hard breaks after every paragraph, including short lines of dialogue.

*Check2* “Mom, that cat’s here again.” “Scat!” -- If these are said by two different speakers, I suggest giving scat a line of its own, otherwise: “Mom, that cat’s here again. Scat!”


*Question* Grammar/Spelling Oops: There are some lingering editorial corrects to fix in this story. A couple examples I noticed were:

This in itself was difficult because her mind was in “summer shutdown”. -- *Left* ...in "summer shutdown."

This tiny petrified bunny was sitting in the tall-unmown grass just quivering. -- I suggest: This tiny, petrified bunny was sitting in the tall, unmown grass, just quivering.

I quickly instructed my son to get a towel and my daughter to stay away from the cat and slowly advanced toward the trembling rabbit head on. -- So that this reads smoother, I suggest: I quickly instructed my son to get a towel and my daughter to stay away from the cat, and then I slowly advanced toward the trembling rabbit head on.


*Star* Thanks for sharing your creative talent with us!


My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed.



*Flower3* Nicki

Sig by KiyaSama I use when reviewing
Most Helpful Review Ribbon won in July 2009

129
129
Review of Hotly Scored  
Review by NickiD89
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
** Image ID #1458790 Unavailable **


Hello Leger! After reading your poem "Hotly Scored, I offer you this humble review.



*Note1* Emotional Impact: The imagery of a moth being drawn to the harmful flame is a perfect metaphor for the kind of love that hurts us. There is such sadness in this piece and an overwhelming sense of defeat. Anyone hurting from love will feel comforted by this poem, if only in knowing they aren't alone.


*Note4* Effectiveness of Form: The organization of this piece into couplets was appropriate in that each pair of lines rhymed and worked as a unit to deliver an image or message. However, lines four and eight contained two less syllables than the other nine-syllable lines, which for me seemed to interrupt the gentle cadence established by their three preceding lines. I wondered if the rhythm would improve using two quatrains, instead. That way, the shorter lines may seem more deliberate. Just a thought *Smile*


*Note3* Punctuation/Spelling: I thought the punctuation was well placed and helped move the reader across line breaks and intentional pauses. I noticed no errors *Cool*


*Star* Lasting Impressions: Thanks for sharing your creative talent with us!


My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed.





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Most Helpful Review Ribbon won in July 2009



130
130
Review of Folgers Falls  
Review by NickiD89
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
** Image ID #1458790 Unavailable **


Hi George! In the spirit of writers helping each other hone their craft, I offer the following comments for "Folgers Falls.

[The comments following red check marks are based on my observations and opinions. Please use only what you find helpful and disregard the rest *Smile*.]


*Flower4* Initial Reaction: I got a kick out of this slice-of-(office)-life story.


*Exclaim* What I liked:

*Thumbsup* The narration was spot on. I enjoyed seeing the morning unfold through George's eyes. His humor added punch to every paragraph and kept my attention from beginning to end.

*Thumbsup* I loved Mark. The names George uses for him cracked me up! (Btw, I had an image in my mind of Mark that may not justify his character, but a subtle je ne sais quoi in your characterizations made him a blip on my "radar" screen. *Smile*)

*Thumbsup* My favorite paragraph was the one when Mark explains, with condescending flair, how one makes a pot of coffee. Great writing!

*Thumbsup* LOVE the last paragraph. The title for this piece, taken from the closing line, is fabulous.


*Idea* Suggestions:

*Check2* There are two dialogue tags in the following sentence: Phrased as a question, but sounding more like a challenge, Mark blurted out, "What are you doing? That's not how you open those," he warned. "Coffee's gonna go everywhere." -- You could try something like this: What Mark blurted out next was phrased as a question but sounded more like a challenge. "What are you doing? That's not how you open those," he warned. "Coffee's gonna go everywhere."

*Check2* I suspect this is a non-fiction piece (...your name is George, the first person narrator's name is George...What a sleuth I am, right? *Laugh*). If it is, I suggest adding non-fiction, personal, or autobiographical to the genre sub-headings.



*Question* Grammar/Spelling Oops:

Mortified, I stared down at one cuff of my white, dress shirt, dusted with a dark film of... -- the comma after "white" isn't necessary because the two adjectives are non-coordinate (if you reverse their order, they don't make sense).


*Star* Thanks for sharing your comical story. I'm off now to brew a pot of coffee...*Smile*



My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed.




*Flower3* Nicki

Sig by KiyaSama I use when reviewing
Most Helpful Review Ribbon won in July 2009

131
131
Review of Poor Ice Cream  
Review by NickiD89
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
** Image ID #1458790 Unavailable **


Hi Charlotte! In the spirit of writers helping each other hone their craft, I offer the following comments for "Poor Ice Cream.

[The comments following red check marks are based on my observations and opinions. Please use only what you find helpful and disregard the rest *Smile*.]


*Flower4* Initial Reaction: What a cute little story! I could picture the humorous moment easily.


*Exclaim* What I liked:

*Thumbsup* This story is a true slice-of-life piece, reminding me of everyday interactions between myself and people in my family.

*Thumbsup* I thought the dialogue was well-done and authentic, and the descriptions were good.


*Idea* Suggestions:

*Check2* Once you have referred to your mother as "my mom," I think using "Mom" as her name sounds better. For example, Before Mom or I could find out what was going on... --- and --- Right before Mom called for my help...


*Question* Grammar/Spelling Oops:

I wrapped my arms around my little sister and said "Don't cry, peanut, it's not dead. -- Missing a comma after "said."


*Star* Your story reminded me of my little sister...maybe I'll call her today...*Smile*


My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed.




*Flower3* Nicki

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Image #1508383 over display limit. -?-

132
132
Review of No Smoking  
Review by NickiD89
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
** Image ID #1458790 Unavailable **


Hi DenimGuy! In the spirit of writers helping each other hone their craft, I offer the following comments for "No Smoking.

[The comments following red check marks are based on my observations and opinions. Please use only what you find helpful and disregard the rest *Smile*.]


*Flower4* Initial Reaction: I got a kick out of this story. It's challenging to write flash fiction and include a solid beginning, middle and end, and I thought you did a fantastic job of it.


*Exclaim* What I liked:

*Thumbsup* I liked where your inspiration took you from the prompt line. This story fit it perfectly.

*Thumbsup* You used dialogue effectively to bring the characters into sharper focus. I could tell by the speech patterns and word choices that Steve and Bob weren't on their first drinks, nicely done! The characterizations of the bartender and the smoker helped flesh out their emotional states. Great job!

*Thumbsup* I loved this line: “Did you?” Steve was giving him as much attention as he could through half-lidded eyes. *Left* Wonderful description!



*Idea* Suggestions:

*Check2* I noticed two places where words repeated. When this happens, the repeated word sort of jumps off the page for me the second time I come across it. Here's where this happened:

It was well after midnight at the Iron Bar. Steve and Bob chuckled when they saw a young man walk up to the oak bar and light a cigarette. The bartender hurried over to him and gave him a stern look. --(and three paragraphs down)-- Steve and Bob gave another chuckle as the young man slumped his shoulders and headed for the door. -- It's nit-picky, I know! But if the place was called, for example, the Iron Pub, you wouldn't have "bar" twice. Instead of one of the chuckles, you could have snickers, chortles, or sniggers.


*Question* Grammar/Spelling Oops:

*Thumbsup* GREAT job with self-editing this piece, especially with punctuation and capitalization around dialogue.


*Star* I enjoyed this piece very much. Best of luck to you in the contest!


My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed.






*Flower3* Nicki

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133
133
Review by NickiD89
In affiliation with Rockin' Reviewers - Award ...  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#1514240 by Not Available.


Hi Joy! As a judge in this contest and in the spirit of writers helping each other hone their craft, I offer the following comments for "True Tones, True Colors.

[The comments following red check marks are based on my observations and opinions. Please use only what you find helpful and disregard the rest *Smile*.]


*Flower4* Initial Reaction: This was a cleverly crafted story!


*Exclaim* What I liked:

*Thumbsup* The descriptions throughout this story were effective in describing the setting, characters and the scene as it unfolded. What I loved was the almost double meaning of everything that, once the climactic scene was reached, showed their true colors. Well done!

*Thumbsup* The pace was good and I liked how the suspense was suddenly apparent with the introduction of the two suited men next to Lorraine's table.


*Idea* Suggestions: None -- I thought this was very well done.


*Question* Grammar/Spelling Oops: I noticed no errors. Great job with edits!


*Star* I liked the inspiration you drew from the prompt. Your story was clever and original. Best of luck to you in the contest!




*Flower3* Nicki

** Image ID #1505737 Unavailable **
Most Helpful Review Ribbon won in July 2009

134
134
Review by NickiD89
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Image ID #1458790 Unavailable **


Hi Judy! In the spirit of writers helping each other hone their craft, I offer the following comments for "A letter from my Mind to my Soul.


*Flower4* Initial Reaction: I loved the intention behind the words in this lovely, introspective letter.


*Exclaim* What I liked: You articulated with pure eloquence the difference between the mind and the soul. I thought it was fitting to relate the soul with faith in God. Your closing comments left me nodding my head in agreement.


*Idea* Suggestions: None, this was perfect written as is.


*Question* Grammar/Spelling Oops:

...which in turn makes me the one who's mind races at all hours of the night. -- who's should be whose


*Star* Thanks for sharing your creative talent with us!




*Flower3* Nicki

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135
135
Review of Pigeon Parade  
Review by NickiD89
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
** Image ID #1458790 Unavailable **


Hello Harry! After reading your poem "Pigeon Parade, I offer you this humble review.



*Note1* Emotional Impact: I thought the last line summed up the essence of this poem's message. Though it follows after a rebuffed male pigeon turned his attention on another female which may demonstrate a healthy attitude toward life we could all learn by, it pointed more for me to the earlier stanzas. The common pigeon may seem ugly and pedestrian when compared to vibrant species like cardinal and hummingbird, but there truly is beauty in all things if we just take a moment to experience it.


*Note4* Effectiveness of Form: I enjoyed your free verse choice for this piece. I did feel it read more like prose than poetry because I found myself reading through the line breaks rather than pausing, as if each stanza were a paragraph.


*Note3* Punctuation/Spelling: I noticed no errors *Cool*


*Star* Lasting Impressions: It is always a pleasure to read your work, Harry. Thanks for sharing your talent with us!



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136
136
Review by NickiD89
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Image ID #1458790 Unavailable **


Hello Joy! After reading your poem "Chess Players in Central Park, I offer you this humble review.



*Note1* Emotional Impact: Your descriptive poem put me in the crowd at the sunny park, watching the gentlemen battling wits across a table of chess. I loved the way you brought their personas to life, and honored their love and commitment for both the game and the intricacies of a match.


*Note4* Effectiveness of Form:

*Thumbsup* Each quatrain flowed with an easy rhythm that wasn't dependent on syllabic meter or rhyme scheme.

*Thumbsup* The imagery in this piece was fantastic, and I enjoyed how you incorporated specific chess piece moves into the characterizations. The metaphorical use of "pawn" was great (and the choiceless pawns on stone-slab benches.).

*Thumbsup* Poetic devices gave rich, textured sound to the piece, like the repeated [p] sound in lines 3 and 4 of stanza 1.

*Thumbsup* One of my favorite moments was this one:

Game pieces sliding on concrete tables,
re-cementing checkered lives
with silver-white tactics,
cantankerous grins,
and hierarchy's strategy.



*Note3* Punctuation/Spelling:

*Check4* It seems so nit-picky to mention, but this line gave me pause, Checkmate, only two words, since "checkmate" is one word



*Star* Lasting Impressions: I enjoyed your wonderful poem very much. Thanks for sharing your creative talent with us!



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137
137
Review by NickiD89
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
** Image ID #1458790 Unavailable **


Hi ConnieAnn! In the spirit of writers helping each other hone their craft, I offer the following comments for "The Dragonfly and the Ladybug.

[The comments following red check marks are based on my observations and opinions. Please use only what you find helpful and disregard the rest *Smile*.]


*Flower4* Initial Reaction: What a sweet children's story about friendship.


*Exclaim* What I liked:

*Thumbsup* I liked that two insects which were very different (yet shared the ability to fly) found friendship together. That is a wonderful lesson for children.

*Thumbsup* The diction was well chosen for young audiences and helped the story flow easily from beginning to end.


*Idea* Suggestions:

I thought this story was lovely as is, but here are a couple things to think about in general when writing for children:

*Check2* Just like other genres, writing in omniscient narrative leaves the reader less involved with any one character. This story begins from the point of view of the Dragonfly, then shifts to the Ladybug. If you chose one and let the entire story filter through that character's perspective, the reader may connect to the whole story on a deeper level.

*Check2* The main character in a children's story should have a problem or conflict facing him which will be resolved in the course of the story. For example, this story ends on a note of new friendship. Perhaps the Dragonfly had no friends, and felt he needed no one looking out for his best interests. Maybe the events of this story changed his mind, and his life was better (and longer) for it.


*Question* Grammar/Spelling Oops: I noticed no errors *Cool* Only one line popped off the page for me:

“Maybe if I stay close by the ladybug, I can nap and stay safe.” -- When the same word appears twice in a sentence, the repetition seems to call attention to itself. Perhaps here, you could say: “Maybe if I stay close by the ladybug, I can nap and feel safe.”



*Star* I loved the photo at the beginning of this piece. Illustrations are a lovely touch to any child's story. I really enjoyed reading your work. Thanks for sharing it with me!



*Flower3* Nicki

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138
138
Review of The Jazz Festival  
Review by NickiD89
In affiliation with Rockin' Reviewers - Award ...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#1514240 by Not Available.


Hi ConnieAnn! As a judge in this contest and in the spirit of writers helping each other hone their craft, I offer the following comments for "The Jazz Festival.

[The comments following red check marks are based on my observations and opinions. Please use only what you find helpful and disregard the rest *Smile*.]


*Flower4* Initial Reaction: The climactic moment of this story had my heart thumping in my chest!


*Exclaim* What I liked:

*Thumbsup* The dialogue was extremely well done in this piece and brought distinction and personality to each character.

*Thumbsup* The entire story flowed beautifully and the pacing was good.


*Idea* Suggestions:

*Check2* I realize the word count limit is tight in this contest, but I didn't feel like I could "feel" the parents' panic when they searched for Angie and the woman who bought her ice cream. I would have liked to see more characterization through the climax so I could sense the emotions of the characters.


*Question* Grammar/Spelling Oops:

Joey quickly grabbed his Dad's hand and pulled him toward the duck pond. -- In this sentence, "Dad's" isn't a proper noun and doesn't need capitalization.


*Star* I thoroughly enjoyed this tightly written story! Best of luck to you in the contest.



*Flower3* Nicki

** Image ID #1505737 Unavailable **
Most Helpful Review Ribbon won in July 2009

139
139
Review of Clowning Around  
Review by NickiD89
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
** Image ID #1458790 Unavailable **


Hi Fyn! In the spirit of writers helping each other hone their craft, I offer the following comments for "Clowning Around.

[The comments following purple check marks are based on my observations and opinions. Please use only what you find helpful and disregard the rest *Smile*.]


*Flower4* Initial Reaction: This heart-warming story kept me entertained through to the end!


*Exclaim* What I liked:

*Thumbsup* Your opening line was fantastic and filled me with intrigue. I was drawn into the story to find out whose bed she was in.

*Thumbsup* The first person narration was the perfect choice for this story, and you brought Ms. Greenfield to life. Her thoughts and perceptions were expertly woven into the story, so that I felt an intimate connection with her. I would have liked to know her stage name.

*Thumbsup* I enjoyed hearing how the new act went once clown and Bessie were united under the big top. I could picture it -- fun!


*Idea* Suggestions:

*Check5* Dialogue sounds more natural when contractions are used, unless the speaker or his/her setting is very formal. For example:

"...And you’ll never know where you are sleeping from night to night...." -- *Right* "...And you’ll never know where you're sleeping from night to night..."

“It is just for a year, dad. Then I’ll go get a real job. Okay?” -- *Right* “It's just for a year, Dad. Then I’ll go get a real job. Okay?”



*Question* Grammar/Spelling Oops:

I tried to focus to the foot of the bed. -- I suggest either, I tried to focus on the foot of the bed. --OR-- I tried to train my focus on the foot of the bed.

That was my dad, he the one who’d always claimed my school was determined to make a pauper out of him. -- This sentence reads a little bumpy. Perhaps making the second clause independent will smooth it out: That was my dad; he always claimed my school was determined to make a pauper out of him.

...chimed in my ever so loving brother. -- I think "ever-so-loving" should be hyphenated.

...a clown in a two bit, rag tag circus!” -- "two-bit" should be hyphenated, [perhaps rag-tag should be, as well (??)]


*Star* It has been a real pleasure to read your latest work this morning. Your creativity and talent are truly inspirational. Thanks so much for sharing your work with me!



*Flower3* Nicki

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140
140
Review of Caribbean Silk  
Review by NickiD89
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Image ID #1458790 Unavailable **


Hello Fyn! After reading your poem "Caribbean Silk, I offer you this humble review.



*Note1* Emotional Impact: My list of things I want to try is long, and reading this poem bumps one item higher on that list. I have always wanted to scuba dive, and your gorgeous descriptions of all there is to see beneath the ocean's surface tugged at that longing. Your words were believable and sound like they were inspired by direct experience. It was clever to include the encounter with a barracuda in the first stanza. Its nod to the danger one accepts as the trade-off for experiencing such beauty manipulated the poem's emotional impact with true mastery.


*Note4* Effectiveness of Form:

*Thumbsup* Free verse was a perfect form choice for this piece. I liked the rhythm you created within each stanza, and by alternating sestets with quatrains.

*Thumbsup* The magic of this poem lies in the descriptive imagery you used. My senses of sight and touch were fully engaged as I read. The image that pulled me in the most was this: I hang, / weightless, waiting


*Note3* Punctuation/Spelling:

Caribbean silk sheaths, shifts. -- I wasn't sure what this line says, *Blush* but it's probably just me. I love the alliteration with sheaths/shifts. Were the sheaths (noun) doing the shifting? If so, it would be "sheaths shift." But, if the silk "sheathes" and "shifts" (both verbs), then I think "sheaths" is a typo (??)



*Star* Lasting Impressions: I loved the direction your inspiration took you for this piece from the quotation prompt. Your words flowed with the effortless power of the tides. Beautiful.


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141
141
Review of Thunder Clouds  
Review by NickiD89
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Image ID #1458790 Unavailable **


Hi Fyn! In the spirit of writers helping each other hone their craft, I offer the following comments for "Thunder Clouds.

[The comments following red check marks are based on my observations and opinions. Please use only what you find helpful and disregard the rest *Smile*.]


*Flower4* Initial Reaction: What a lovely song! I see why it placed in a contest.


*Exclaim* What I liked:

*Thumbsup* The premise for the song, a couple in the midst of a fight are reminded of their love when a certain song plays, is one with wide appeal. Music is known to soothe the beast, but when "our song" comes on, the connection and the memories trump anger every time.

*Thumbsup* Even without melody, these lines were lyrical and flowed beautifully from verse to verse.

*Thumbsup* I thought the couplets between verses were clever the way they mirrored the storm imagery and rhyme scheme of the verse above.

*Thumbsup* From a poetic point of view, I really enjoyed the way you used the storm to parallel the situation, with the thunder and lightning brewing as the two face one another, and the parting of the storm clouds once they come together to dance. I also enjoyed the devices you used in the rhyme schemes, and particularly the assonance in this line: Thunder clouds were roiling now



*Idea* Suggestions: None -- this was perfect as is!


*Question* Grammar/Spelling Oops:

Thunder clouds parted showing stars -- I wondered if a comma were necessary after "parted"?


*Star* Your talent is so varied and strong across genres. You inspire me!




*Flower3* Nicki

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142
142
Review of Rainbow World  
Review by NickiD89
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
** Image ID #1458790 Unavailable **


Hi Fyn! In the spirit of writers helping each other hone their craft, I offer the following comments for "Rainbow World.

[The comments following purple check marks are based on my observations and opinions. Please use only what you find helpful and disregard the rest *Smile*.]


*Flower4* Initial Reaction: I was fascinated and entertained as I read this wonderful story.


*Exclaim* What I liked:

*Thumbsup* The narration was strong in this piece. I heard you talking to me, as if you were across a table drinking coffee and chatting with me. Your voice was filled with emotion, reflection, and personality.

*Thumbsup* I believed every word of the experiences described here. First, memories like the day in the snow, and the one about the broken arm -- these were so vividly described that I don't doubt their authenticity. Second, I can see people's auras, and although I don't have any pronounced "gifts" (darn it!) I do feel indubitable truths in life that demand no further proof for me. So, if this is fiction, then you got me *Laugh*!

*Thumbsup* I loved this moment: When we were at her funeral, as her casket was being lowered into the ground, I saw a faint green glow wisp off into the breeze.


*Idea* Suggestions: I only have one, humble suggestion:

*Check5* I had to read the following line twice: I forgot about the picture he’d taken until several months later when he got his rolls of film developed, my parents exclaimed over how beautiful a picture he’d taken. -- I think I'd been so mesmerized by the "journey" that I'd forgotten about the brother's camera. I suggest two possible ideas:

Revise the above line slightly along these lines: I forgot about the picture my brother had taken until several months later when he got his rolls of film developed, my parents exclaimed over how beautiful a picture of me he’d taken.

Or, (or perhaps and), this line from earlier in the story could be more clear: Suddenly my brother shouted at me not to move, and I froze in place. -- Maybe: Suddenly my brother shouted at me not to move, and I froze in place as he snapped my picture.


*Question* Grammar/Spelling Oops:

I never told anyone about my journey as I thought of it. -- A comma is necessary after "journey" so that this sentence is read correctly.

It was sometime after that, that I noticed some people seemed to have colors surrounding them. -- The repetition of "that" and "some" in this line lends it a choppy sound. I suggest something like this: Not long after that I noticed some people seemed to have colors surrounding them.

There is a similar issue with this line: She’d said it was her time and that all things have their special time in the scheme of things. -- I suggest using synonyms for "time" and "things."


*Star* Your colorful descriptions of the other place were magical, and I enjoyed how important a role the prism and its colors played throughout this story. From beginning to end, I was immersed in your writing -- thanks for the journey!



*Flower3* Nicki

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143
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Review by NickiD89
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
** Image ID #1458790 Unavailable **


Hi Mara! Here is the fifth review won in "Invalid Item. In the spirit of writers helping each other hone their craft, I offer the following comments for "In a Moment's Breath ....

[The comments following red check marks are based on my observations and opinions. Please use only what you find helpful and disregard the rest *Smile*.]


*Flower4* Initial Reaction: I admit not finishing this story before, the first time I visited it. Stories of mothers outliving their children rouse too easily the quiet terror that lurks in the deepest corners of my heart. But I am so glad I finished it today, because it is a masterpiece.


*Exclaim* What I liked:

*Thumbsup* Your portrayal of the mother's emotions was raw and authentic. Tears stung my eyes because you put me soundly into her mind so that I felt her pain, her devastation. The descriptions were poignant and profound.

*Thumbsup* I loved how the themes of "breath," "breathing," and being "unable to breathe" played important roles in the title and the plot.

*Thumbsup* The plastic bucket was a lovely image you used to great effect. When she fishes it out from under the dock and watches the trapped water pour back into the lake, I was stuck by the powerful force of the symbolism.

*Thumbsup* This paragraph will stay with me for a long time. The writing is so good:

I close my eyes as his chin rests on top of my head. I don't know how he can stand to be so close to me. I want to crawl out of my skin. Why doesn't he hate me? I hate myself. I hate him for not being there. I hate God for letting this happen. Hot tears start to flow again and I shudder with anguished sobs. He holds me, rocking with me until I can breathe again.


*Idea* Suggestions: None -- this was stunning and perfect.


*Question* Grammar/Spelling Oops:

Pulling an assortment of cold cuts and fresh veggies from the refrigerator I start making sandwiches. -- a comma is missing after "refrigerator"


*Star* I can't tell you how much I've enjoyed spending time with your work, Mara. Your talent shined in every piece I read. Thanks so much!




*Flower3* Nicki

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Review of ~ Solace ~  
Review by NickiD89
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
** Image ID #1458790 Unavailable **


Hi Mara! In the spirit of writers helping each other hone their craft, I offer the following comments for " ~ Solace ~ .

[The comments following purple check marks are based on my observations and opinions. Please use only what you find helpful and disregard the rest *Smile*.]


*Flower4* Initial Reaction: This story exudes sheer power!


*Exclaim* What I liked:

*Thumbsup* The way you wove the two characters' physical descriptions into the action of the story showed true writing mastery. I saw her tats and piercings, and his style of dress, rising up in my mind's eye as I moved deeper into the story. Perfect!

*Thumbsup* I liked that you stayed with the scene unfolding rather than indulging in the juicy details of Abby's abduction. This story was so real, so organic, that it didn't need the back story sensationalism of the horrific experience that left Abby deaf.

*Thumbsup* You did a great job characterizing Abby's hearing loss in the way she navigated the scene and in her perceptions based on touch, smell and sight.


*Idea* Suggestions:

*Check5* I wondered what his name was. When Abby was the POV, I would have liked to learn his name because, for me, knowing the character's name adds another dimension to his personality and fosters a different level of intimacy with the character.


*Question* Grammar/Spelling Oops: You've done an outstanding job editing this piece -- I noticed no errors *Cool*


*Star* Congrats on your contest win for this story too!



*Flower3* Nicki

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145
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Review by NickiD89
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
** Image ID #1458790 Unavailable **


Hi Mara! In the spirit of writers helping each other hone their craft, I offer the following comments for "Promise of Tomorrow.

[The comments following green check marks are based on my observations and opinions. Please use only what you find helpful and disregard the rest *Smile*.]


*Flower4* Initial Reaction: Damn, girl, you can write! This story is powerful, emotional, and most definitely deserving of it's first place prestige as the May Short Shots winner.


*Exclaim* What I liked:

*Thumbsup* First of all, I enjoyed the creative direction your inspired muse took you from the photo prompt. So many of us saw bank robbers and bandits, but your plot was fresh and original.

*Thumbsup* The opening was very strong, hooking me immediately and pulling me into the story. From the first sentence, the story's pieces began to fall into place, and every word moved the plot forward.

*Thumbsup* I liked the way you separated this story into three sections, letting Garrett have the POV narration in the middle section. Often hard to pull off, this worked well and helped me understand, on an intimate level, what was making Garrett tick. The breaks and transitions flowed smoothly, which is were many, less adept writers falter with this technique.

*Thumbsup* Your characterizations were rich and varied, and I saw every gesture and movement as another clue into how the characters were feeling. This hallmark of your work is one of the things I love about your writing style.

*Thumbsup* I LOVED this line: The tracks didn't run through Trinity, but that didn't hinder the town's understanding of social hierarchy.


*Idea* Suggestions:

*Check3* So that dialogue sounds as authentic as possible, the way people really speak, I suggest using the most commonly heard contractions whenever possible (unless it is pertinent to the character or setting to sound more formal). Some examples:

“I can’t believe you are going to drive that jalopy across country. -- "I can't believe you're going to..."

“Besides, she is a classic. -- “Besides, she's a classic.

"Are you going to tell me where we are going?" -- "...where we're going?"


*Question* Grammar/Spelling Oops:

Gnawing on her full bottom lip, Jude forced her thoughts from Garrett and to the more immediate problem of money. -- I think "and" can be taken out of this sentence.


"Daisy will be ok," he reassured with a small smile. -- LOL - I do this all the time, too! I've been told (more times than I care to admit *Blush**Laugh*) that (*she finishes in a snooty voice*) in literature, "okay" should be spelled out.


*Star* I can't praise you enough for this story. It was tightly written, emotional, riveting, and thoroughly entertaining. Congrats again for the win!



*Flower3* Nicki

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Review of Second Chance  
Review by NickiD89
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
** Image ID #1458790 Unavailable **


Hi Mara! Here is the first of the five reviews you won in "Invalid Item. In the spirit of writers helping each other hone their craft, I offer the following comments for "Second Chance.

[The comments following purple check marks are based on my observations and opinions. Please use only what you find helpful and disregard the rest *Smile*.]


*Flower4* Initial Reaction: Though I don't watch NCSI (I know, WTF, right! *Laugh*), I was able to enjoy these characters from your descriptions and characterizations. Well done!


*Exclaim* What I liked:

*Thumbsup* As always, your author's voice was very strong through this story. Like an artist, you build layers up on the canvas of your story until the end result is a richly textured piece with vivid imagery and strong characterization.

*Thumbsup* You portrayed the emotions of each main character, and I was pulled into their feelings in every scene. The only character whose emotions were less vivid was Kelly when she came face to face with the father she believed dead for more than half her life. If you revisit this story, I would add to her characterizations so the reader is drawn into her shock, disbelief and joy.

*Thumbsup* The moment with the St. Christopher's medal was brilliant and offered foreshadowing of the richest texture.

*Thumbsup* The dialogue was quick, spirited and interesting. It added greatly to the authenticity of this piece and to its overall entertainment factor.


*Idea* Suggestions:

*Check5* I thought the opening sentences would be clearer if Gibbs' name were used instead of the pronoun "he," because the first time through I wasn't sure who was doing the girl watching. Perhaps this slight revision would clarify right off the bat what was happening:

Rich, auburn tresses drew his eye. NCSI Agent Jethro Gibbs had always had "a thing" for redheads.

Likewise in the following sentence, I wasn't sure if "she" was referring to the girl again, or the black Jeep Wrangler (or its driver) that had just entered the park:

She was closer now, making her way down the steep path. -- If you used "The redhead" here, that distinction would be crystal clear.


*Question* Grammar/Spelling Oops:

"Oh f*@k." Timmons muttered, stepping back from the ice in Gibbs gaze as he made the connection. -- *Right* "Oh f*@k," Timmons muttered, stepping back from the ice in Gibbs' gaze as he made the connection.

"Shannon..." his words died off as she pressed into his arms with a sob. -- *Right* "Shannon..." His words died off as she pressed into his arms with a sob.

"Sawdust in my hair, splinters or grass stains on my butt," Shannon smiled at the memories. -- Since there is no dialogue tag in this line, I suggest punctuating it like this *Right* "Sawdust in my hair, splinters or grass stains on my butt..." Shannon smiled at the memories.

*Bullet* There were a couple places where I notice a missing apostrophe showing possession, like here: The terror in her wide eyes stabbed straight to Gibbs heart. -- Gibbs *Right* Gibbs' (or Gibbs's, which I don't think looks as good *Smile*)



*Star* This story has made me want to tune in to NCSI! I wish you the best of luck in the contest. I look forward to tomorrow when I plan to spend the whole morning with your stories. Until then, have a great evening!


*Flower3* Nicki

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147
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Review by NickiD89
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Image ID #1458790 Unavailable **


Hello ShiShad! After reading your poem "A Valentine's Lament, I offer you this humble review.



*Note1* Emotional Impact: This poem speaks of fizzled out love, when the fog has lifted enough for one who realizes the passion in the couple is gone. This is, sadly, a message many can relate to.


*Note4* Effectiveness of Form:

*Thumbsup* The lines flow beautifully in this piece. It has a lovely, lyrical quality to it.

*Thumbsup* I liked how you handled the rhyme scheme. The moments I enjoyed the most were the ones when you used slant rhymes. I loved the assonance with hard/dark.

*Thumbsup* My favorite moment was this one:

Like the Valentine card
that you left unsigned;




*Note3* Punctuation/Spelling: I noticed no errors *Cool*


*Star* Lasting Impressions: I enjoyed this piece very much. Its simplicity was refreshing. Thanks so much for sharing it with me!


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Review by NickiD89
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Feel free to use this sig if you are a Paper Doll Gang member!



Hello Chihiro! Thank you for entering this story in:

Young Stars Shine Your Light Contest  (E)
A CONTEST JUST FOR WRITERS EIGHTEEN YRS OLD AND UNDER! ~ON HIATUS~
#1557458 by NickiD89


In appreciation for the time and energy you spent writing this creative story in response to the prompt, I offer you this in-depth review. Please refrain from editing your piece until after the winners are posted in the forum. Thanks!

[The suggestions following red check marks are based on my observations and opinions. Please only take what you find helpful and leave the rest *Smile*]



*Note2* Characters: 4.5 *Star*'s

*Thumbsup* I enjoyed the characters very much in this story. Your physical descriptions of both main characters were vivid and painted portraits of them in my mind's eye. The paragraph describing Aiyana's tunic was wonderful.

*Check2* Aiyana is the third person narrator in this story. I suggest tweaking the opening paragraphs so that the introduction to the story also filters through her perspective. An idea would be to share how she is feeling as she is led in as a prisoner, or perhaps have her eyes dart around the chamber taking in the room so the descriptions are coming through her eyes.


*Note5* Plot/Conflict/Pace: 4*Star*'s

*Thumbsup* Great job describing the setting in this story. I could picture perfectly the chamber, the clothing the guards wore, and the magical orb.

*Thumbsup* I really liked the premise for this story, and I think it has epic potential should you ever expand it.

*Thumbsup* The climactic moment when Singh grabs Aiyana by the jaw was very well written and suspenseful.

*Check2* This story read, for me, more like a chapter than a short story, because nothing was resolved for either character by its end. I thought there was so much more story to tell. What does Singh intend to do with the magical orb? Does he do it? Does Aiyana become his conqueror, his ally, or his nemesis? Does she get away from him?


*Note1* Grammar, Punctuation, and Spelling: 4 *Star*'s

*Check2* Typos:

*Bullet* Possession -- you need an apostrophe before the 's' to show possession. Look for places like this to correct:

"the rooms sole light source" *Right* "the room's sole light source" --- ...as the Lords dark eyes wandered lustfully over her. *Right* ...as the Lord's dark eyes wandered lustfully over her.

*Bullet* Many of your lines of dialogue are missing their punctuation marks. For example:

“The beloved Wife of my enemy and you have not a clue, how amusing” -- *Right* “The beloved wife of my enemy and you have not a clue, how amusing.”

*Bullet* There/Their:

The soft glow of the torches cast silver reflections off there chest and shin armor illuminating there black masks, giving them the frightful appearances of dungeons keepers rather than professionally trained Kurmal Eka soldiers. -- "Their" refers to possession.


*Check2* Sentence structure:

*Bullet* Sometimes a misplaced modifying phrase changes the meaning of the sentence:

The man, standing a good head and a half taller than his woman captive, ushered the guards out to stand guard outside with the wave of a hand . -- Here, it sounds like the men are outside guarding with a wave of a hand. Moving the last phrase increases the clarity of the sentence. You could try it like this: With the wave of his hand, the man, who stood a good head and a half taller than his woman captive, ushered the guards out to stand guard.

*Bullet* Sentence fragments can be an effective tool for building tension or suspense in a moment. Used too often, however, fragments lead to a choppy, disjointed flow. I suggest changing fragments like these into complete sentences: Large hulk-like men, in fearsome black uniforms and matching metal masks. -- and -- Smirking deviously to himself.


*Check2* Misc. editorial

*Bullet* In literature, it is widely agreed that numerals under ten should be spelled out, (and the Chicago Manual of Style maintains that numerals up to one hundred should be spelled out): ...standing at about 4 hands in height and 2 in width... -- four and two




*Note3* First Impression Wow Factor: 4 *Star*’s

*Thumbsup* You have a wonderful descriptive voice and I found your writing style entertaining and engaging.

*Check2* This piece seemed like part of a bigger story and had no conclusive ending. I would have enjoyed finding out what happens to these interesting characters.



*Right* My Overall Rating: *Star**Star**Star**Star*


I enjoyed your creative story! Reviewers and Judges are in the process of reading each story and writing its review. Winners will be posted in the contest forum no later than the 10th of the month. I will email the winners individually and award their prizes just prior to posting the results. Best of luck to you!


~Nicki~
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149
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Review of Scarlet Dawn  
Review by NickiD89
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
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Hello Sir Thomas! Thank you for entering this story in:

Young Stars Shine Your Light Contest  (E)
A CONTEST JUST FOR WRITERS EIGHTEEN YRS OLD AND UNDER! ~ON HIATUS~
#1557458 by NickiD89


In appreciation for the time and energy you spent writing this creative story in response to the prompt, I offer you this in-depth review. Please refrain from editing your piece until after the winners are posted in the forum. Thanks!

[The suggestions following red check marks are based on my observations and opinions. Please only take what you find helpful and leave the rest *Smile*]



*Note2* Characters: 3.5 *Star*'s

*Thumbsup* You did a good job maintaining the point-of-view narrative, and told the entire story through the filter of Robert.

*Thumbsup* The physical descriptions you used helped me see the characters better in my mind's eye.

*Check2* There were a lot of "telling" descriptions throughout this story. Incorporating "showing" descriptions that allowed the reader to picture the emotional states of the characters at each moment helps bring richness and texture to a story.


*Note5* Plot/Conflict/Pace: 3*Star*'s

*Thumbsup* The opening paragraph was very strong and drew me into the story.

*Thumbsup* You used a lot of strong, descriptive language to bring the scenes to life. I enjoyed picturing the visual effects of the spells flying through the air in the battle scene.

*Check2* This story took on a very long time frame (spanning over fifty years) in right around 1000 words. When approaching a short story, it's important to flesh out the story you want to tell by concentrating on one moment of significance. Fill in the gaps with back story, but focus the character's problem in that moment and show how, though the character faces personal conflicts, he/she faces them in the climactic scene and resolves the problem.


*Note1* Grammar, Punctuation, and Spelling: 3 *Star*'s


*Check2* Comma/Semi-colon Usage:

Robert Teller was praised by his professors, never before did a student have such mastery over magick by his fifth year... -- Both clauses in this compound sentence are independent so the comma after "professors" should be a semi-colon.

'a scarlet, hooded, robe' -- you don't need the comma after hooded *Right* a scarlet, hooded robe

He brooded for many years until he had a large, cult like, following. -- cult-like is hyphenated, and the comma after is is unnecessary



*Check2* Typos:

...a ball of white energy shot from its gold lpated tip. -- gold-plated tip

By the battles end, Robert lay crippled and near death. / ...Frederick then slaughtered all but two of Roberts followers... -- battle's end, and Robert's followers

The assault was on the front page of every news paper... -- newspaper is one word


*Check2* Sentence structure:

“I couldn’t tell you,” he said, “how over joyed I am to see you in just one word.” -- I suggest moving the last phrase so that it modifies the correct word: “I couldn’t tell you in just one word,” he said, “how over-joyed I am to see you.”


*Check2* Dialogue

“One hundred and sixty four years you’ve lived.” Amdis said after many moments of silence. -- The period after "lived" should be a comma.

“I am seventy years old.” He stated. -- Corrected: “I am seventy years old,” he stated.

“I plan to outlive them by five centuries.” He said, pulling a long wand from his robe pocket. -- Corrected: “I plan to outlive them by five centuries,” he said, pulling a long wand from his robe pocket.

“Goodbye, Frederick.” Amdis stated as-matter-of-factly. -- The period after "Frederick" should be a comma.


*Note3* First Impression Wow Factor: 3.5 *Star*’s

*Thumbsup* There was a lot of engaging action in this epic short story.

*Check2* I would have liked to see some original aspects to this story, which reminded me very much of the Harry Potter series, so that the characters and their aspirations seemed fresh and new.



*Right* My Overall Rating: *Star**Star**Star**Halfstar*


I enjoyed your creative story! Reviewers and Judges are in the process of reading each story and writing its review. Winners will be posted in the contest forum no later than the 10th of the month. I will email the winners individually and award their prizes just prior to posting the results. Best of luck to you!


~Nicki~
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150
150
Review by NickiD89
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Feel free to use this sig if you are a Paper Doll Gang Member!



Hello Mariella! Thank you for entering this story in:

Young Stars Shine Your Light Contest  (E)
A CONTEST JUST FOR WRITERS EIGHTEEN YRS OLD AND UNDER! ~ON HIATUS~
#1557458 by NickiD89


In appreciation for the time and energy you spent writing this creative story in response to the prompt, I offer you this in-depth review. Please refrain from editing your piece until after the winners are posted in the forum. Thanks!

[The suggestions following red check marks are based on my observations and opinions. Please only take what you find helpful and leave the rest *Smile*]



*Note2* Characters: 4 *Star*'s

*Thumbsup* I thought the characterization was good for this genre of story. The story was folk tale in tone, and the speech, movements, and gestures of the characters seemed natural in its context.

*Check2* So that you bring something fresh to your story, I suggest finding something very unique to offer to your characters so they don't seem stereotypical. I pictured all the mythical creatures in the story, for example, based on the way other storytellers have already described mermaids or giants, and I would have loved to "see" what they looked like in your story, from your own descriptions.


*Note5* Plot/Conflict/Pace:4.5 *Star*'s

*Thumbsup* There were several things I liked about the way this plot unfolded. First, I enjoyed the repetition you employed. Each group of creatures the king visited was approached with the same lines of discourse; their gift ideas were turned down the same way; and, the king always took his leave with the same closing comments. This gave the story a very folk-ish feel that I found appealing.

*Thumbsup* I liked that in the king's search for the perfect gift for the princess, he was suggested gifts of air, water, and fire. The use of elements here was clever.

*Thumbsup* There is a good lesson in this piece: rather than offer riches and extraordinary presents, the most down-to-earth gifts, like a cat, will please a child the most.


*Check2* I suggest changing the genre sub-headings for this story to include "Children's," "Fantasy," and/or "Folklore."



*Note1* Grammar, Punctuation, and Spelling: 4.5 *Star*'s


*Check2* “It is no use!” exclaimed the King astride his horse, “There is not a gift in the land which is suitable for my princess!” -- Since the sentence in the second set of quotation marks isn't a continuation of the first, the comma after "horse" should be a period.

The same is true for this sentence: “Please, your Majesty, perhaps we can help you,” said one of his men, “Tell us, tell us. What exactly are you looking for?” -- The comma after "men" should be a period.

“I seek no gift.” said the King and the woman smiled as if she new something the King did not. -- A comma, question mark, or exclamation point -- but never a period -- appears inside the closed quotation marks followed by a dialogue tag (he said, she replied, etc.) *Right* “I seek no gift,” said the King, and the woman smiled as if she new something the King did not.

“You seek something that cannot be created by man, woman or child.” She said mysteriously. -- When a dialogue tag follows a spoken quote, it is never capitalized: “You seek something that cannot be created by man, woman or child,” she said mysteriously.

...the sound of his servant’s horses finally approaching behind him. -- servants' horses



*Note3* First Impression Wow Factor: 4 *Star*’s

*Thumbsup* I was hooked from the beginning of this story and stayed engaged through to the end. Nicely done!

*Check2* I thought the story could have used a bit more originality in its descriptions of the creatures and characters, so that I was drawn into a place and characters I'd never encountered before.


*Right* My Overall Rating: (4.25 rounded up) *Star**Star**Star**Star**Halfstar*



I enjoyed your creative story! Reviewers and Judges are in the process of reading each story and writing its review. Winners will be posted in the contest forum no later than the 10th of the month. I will email the winners individually and award their prizes just prior to posting the results. Best of luck to you!


~Nicki~
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