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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/hotelindia
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6 Public Reviews Given
12 Total Reviews Given
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Review of A Tampa Funeral  
Review by Lukewarm
Rated: E | (4.0)
I love what you do with sentences. I believe many would claim that they're too long, too unwieldy. But I hope you don't change your style... they are long, they are sometimes unwieldy. But they deliver fluid storyline, brimming and boiling with emotion, content and context simultaneously.
I think it's uniquely powerful, and I hope others recognise it as such.

In terms of negative criticism, I would only suggest that some choices of words seem inappropriate: e.g. ' I astrologically project...' .

In addition, the connections between paragraphs/sections need some editing. You use ' Next..' and ' Next up..' too much, and as a reader it begins to aggravate slightly.

Overall, keep going, please. I'll happily keep reading them.

PS Can you write a sci-fi? I have a feeling that that environment could be shocking and expansive, which would suit your style.

Luke Warm
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