I really enjoyed this story. It has an interesting main character with an average background. It is a good start. I noticed that there was a lot of repitition in the beginning and you seemed to have a little trouble getting things straight. The second chapter was good but could use a little more detail, maybe some more background. After a while it turned into a wall of text and as a suggestion people will be more likely to read this if it is well spaced. I like the fact that Halle doesn't trust Christopher. Also what was with the parents? Will that be explained later? Overall very good idea and solid main character, it just needs some more plot and character development.
Good luck with this.
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