Hm hm. Mediocre? A cheesy little tale with washed up tricks. However I can see some skill and talent. The most important thing a writer can have is will and skill, and by my accounts you have both. Vocabulary and imagination are just tools of the trade (important, but still just tools). Try something else. I'm going to dedicate some time to reading more of your work because I can see potential here.
Hey, this is actually pretty good. At first I thought "oh not something boring again..." But to my pleasant surprise I stumbled upon a writer with well-honed skill. I gave you a 3.5 as motivation to take on bigger, more enthusiatic projects. I'll wait more!
I randomly stumbled upon your work. It's pretty difficult to examine. Let's start: this is a beginning that can lead to wonderful stories. The "In media res" beginning is particularly striking. Unfortunately the language is rather poor. A more colorful vocabulary, grammar and sentence structure is, in overall, poor. Keep working.
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