*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/iliadav
Review Requests: OFF
1 Public Reviews Given
6 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of Transference  
Review by nkl
Rated: ASR | (2.5)
The very last paragraph ruined it for me. I would otherwise give you 4 stars. Up to this point it's a well written story with great flow. Get rid of the explanation. The story must be self-contained.

One minor thing that wasn't clear to me, if it's 8th or 9th time, where dozens of chambers come from?
1 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 1 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/iliadav