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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/ilianna
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10 Public Reviews Given
210 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of Another Day  
Review by Aradne
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
By some odd stream of coincidence, it usually came to pass at the precise hour that a pleasant buzz morphed itself into it’s evil twin “the Hang-over” hangover is one word. *Smile*

I was hoping that something other than tequila, orange juice might prepare my stomach for the day ahead. This sentence doesn't make a lot of sense to me... the use of the comma, or tequila, or orange juice...? I don't know. I suggest re-wording this.

The station reps including the deejay are here now. I believe that this should just be 'D.J.'.

That's an awesome anecdote!! I'm so glad that you wrote it down to share!! *Smile*

Write on!!!
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Review of A little life  
Review by Aradne
Rated: E | (4.0)
A little smile a little laugh, food falling off your chin Usually I don't make a big deal about punctuation in poetry, but since you've used it normally in the rest of the poem, this should be "A little smile, a little laugh"

The line in the last stanza has a different rhythm to it than the rest of the poem... Just a thought.

A very cute poem. *Smile* All in all, a great read. Thanks for sharing. WRITE ON!!

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Review by Aradne
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Very cool. I am glad to see a forun where something interesting is going on. * smile *
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