I've given you a rating of 4 because I believe that you have a very good story but one in need of strict editing. The story itself is compelling, I found that I kept reading even when I stopped to question why you phrased things in a certain way, or missed grammatical and punctuation errors that were obvious.
I began taking notes and writing down suggestions, then realized it needed editing not nit picking, which would simply be like slapping on band-aids. You have a tale that is strong, sensitive and moving, but it needs cutting and tightening. As writers we learn that it is not what we throw out that's important, it's what we leave in. My suggestion is for you to throw out everything you don't need, if you do, you will be left with a story that will remain in the minds and hearts of readers for a long time.
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