Hello, Artichoki3 or Ellie Williams, whichever you prefer. I am glad that you have "rediscovered the joy of writing", and can see that you have worked very hard on this short story.
I can find almost no negative things to say about this. The frequent paragraph breaks and correct grammar and capitalisation make it easy on the eyes to read; the detailed and emotional descriptions make me want to read on; and the realistic portrayal of grief/bereavement only enhances the story further.
Clicking on your portfolio, I can see that this is your first item on WDC. If this is the standard of quality that you write at, I will be excited to see other stories that you may write in the future.
Congratulations.
~Infinity421
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