Beautiful essay! Thank you very much for entering my contest and giving me the opportunity to read your thoughts.
You essay is touching and challenging, however you need to correct a couple of mistakes here and there.
I especially like your realization of living forever in the memories of the ones that loved you.
1. I was more then simply a person (than?)
2. In a flash I am transported to my memory (coma after flash?)
3. The quiet stillness of the room is not broken by my love ones. (loved?)
4. ...I have live a happy life and I will live on in their memories. (lived?)
Please keep in mind that I am not a native English speaker and therefore my corrections may not need to be corrected.
The subject of your article (Abortion) is a very serious one.
I am not sure if I am against or in favor of the opinions stated, but I would like to share my thoughts with you in brief.
First of all I must say that I am a mother to an 8 year old daughter therefore I am sensitive on the subject. Every woman should be sensitive to that! And that can only be accompished through education. I don't know about your country, but in my country (Greece) I know for sure that children, both girls and boys, don't get the essential information on the subject.
Sex is still a forbitten matten for school education and so is abortion and birth control.
You may say that this kind of information should come from family, but we all know, not all parents have high culture level and some are ashamed to discuss matters as such with their children.
So school is the next resort!
Half sexualy educated people result in an immoral society.
This whole thing holds a lot of pain for the person involved, this poor woman who faces the greatest decision of her life usually under a lot of stress and fear of rejection.
Does she keep the child and become miserable for the rest of her life together with this innocent soul?
Does she end her pregnancy and live with her guilt or -even worse- does she let her pregnancy develop and then give the child up for adoption?
You say we have to deprive women of their right to choose but that is still unfair.
That's why I vote for education. A well educated woman can make the right choices beforehand. Protect herself of this uneasy situation before it happens.
And lets not forget that there are medical reasons sometimes that make abortion inevitable!
In my opinion abortion should be legal but people should be aware of what they are dealing with!
Thank you for your time, and for the opportunity to express myself.
Write on!
Dimitra
(Please excuse my English as it is not my mother tongue)
Deep and emotional, this poem felt like a prayer.
Gentle yet strong, filled with vivid images and a precious piece of your heart.
I find it so hard to rate someone's...heart!
How can you rate that?
Thank you for including an image of the mentioned bridge.
It helps the reader to relate with your emotions.
In the first two stanzas your rhyming was excellent.
The last one needs a little work but on the other hand I wouldn't even dare to suggest you to modify a single word in this poem! Maybe instead of "...but I still can feel the pain" I would write "...but I still feel the pain".
Best wishes,
Dimitra
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
That wasn't bad at all!
You explain your thesis so well that what you write contradicts the result. ;)
...take it from a girl from Greece, who finds writing poetry in English "all Greek" to her, or as we say in Greece: "it is all chinese to me"!
I admit i usually read poetry but this poem made me want to read some of your stories too.
You will be hearing from me, soon!
Best regards,
Dimitra
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