As far as the style and structure, your poem doesn’t seem to follow any classic structure or organization. There is scattered and inconsistent rhyme, as well as some mistakes in regards to the standard conventions of language. The rhymes seem forced and unnatural, hovering over ammature territory rather than sophisticated or professional. It seems like you took a work of prose and made stanzas of the paragraphs, starting a new line in random places.
However, your poem illustrates a real problem you have experienced and are experiencing, and therefore this poem was a way for you to vent and served as an outlet for your anger, disappointment, and grief. The raw, genuine emotion is not forced, and thus I commend you for making poetry your method of getting your feelings out. Raw emotion makes poetry poetry regardless of the conventions of language. I’m sorry for the loss you have experienced, but I think you are handling it very well. Keep writing!
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